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Complete BEHAVIOR & DECIDUOUS FLUX Discographies On Bandcamp!

      I am extremely proud to announce that the complete discographies for "Behavior" & "Deciduous Flux" are now posted on Bandcamp. They are ready for download and/or streaming. For years I have wanted to see this happen and finally the day has arrived! I have been recording since 1999 and have been involved with many recordings over the nearly twenty years. I have always kept a very detailed archive and have always wanted to compile them somewhere where they may be heard beyond the very limited releases we have created. Everything is here, the dates, the people, and the places. With that in mind, you may download a full album, or simply choose the songs that you like and download them. It is a lot! so be warned! I hope you will take the time to drop by and take a look. As always, I very much appreciate your time and humble and thankful for your support! Cheers!     Wesleyoung

Bandcamp:  BEHAVIOR.

Deciduous Flux. Discography.

SIS 201. The Splendor Of Chaos. Feb~Mar 2011.+*
SIS 202. At Enormous Depths. Apr 2011.+*
SIS 203. When Death Comes Ripping. Apr 2011.+*
SIS 204. Timeserver. May 2011.+*
SIS 205. A Surviving Trace. May 2011.+*
SIS 206. Dreams Of The Pistol Whipped. Jul 2011.+*>
SIS 207. The Stresses Of Atmospheres. Sep~Oct 2011.+*
SIS 208. The Planet Of The Crossing. Dec 2011~Jan 2012.+*>
SIS 209. Deciduous Flux. CD 1. (Raw Recordings). Jan 2012.+*
SIS 210. Deciduous Flux. CD 2. (Early Version). Apr 2012.+*-
SIS 211. Deciduous Flux. CD 3 (Final Versions). May 2012.+*-
SIS 212. Creature Of Habit. May 2012.+*>
SIS 213. Mysteries Of The Dark Woods. Jun 2012.+*
SIS 214. Seperated At Some Distance. Jun 2012.+*
SIS 215. Plenum. Jun 2012.+*
SIS 216. Pastiche Lustral. Jun 2012. Oct 2012. +*
SIS 217. Psychonautics. Apr~May 2013. +*
SIS 218. Bonds Of Time. Jun 2013. +*/
SIS 219. Adamah. May 2014. +*@. 5-8. July 2014. +*”
SIS 220. Ubiety. Jul~Aug. 2014. +*
SIS 221. Jupiter. Early Mix. Aug 2014. +*
SIS 222. Jupiter. Alternate Mix. Sept~Oct 2014. +*
SIS 223. Jupiter. Final Mix. Sep~Oct 2014. +*
SIS 224. World Beneath The Ice (Themes I). Jan~Feb 2015. +*
SIS 225. World Beneath The Ice (Themes II). Feb 2015. +*
SIS 226. Movement Among The Mist. Apr 2015. +*    
SIS 227. The Night Of No Tomorrow. May. 2015. +*
SIS 228. Grand Dark Feeling. June 2015. +*
SIS 229. The Golden Bough. June 2015. +*
SIS 230. Mirror Of The Moon. July 2017. +*
SIS 231. Film Of The Book. Aug 2017. +*
SIS 232. Thy Will. Sep~Oct 2017. +*
SIS 233. Deciduous Flux. 1-9. Nov 2017. +*

SIS 01. Deciduous Flux. Year 1 Comp. 2012. US. #ed lmt to 50.+*
SIS 06. Deciduous Flux. (Self Titled). CD. 12-12-2012. US. Lmt to 500.+*
Un Festin Sagital. Deimos. 10-24-2013. BH-72. US. Lmt to 100.
SIS 07. Icedagaz. 2008 ~ 2012. Comp. 2014. US. #ed lmt to 50. *
SIS 223a. Jupiter. 10-31-2015. US. #ed lmt to 22. +*

Appearance On Compilation Releases.
23 Seconds Ov Time Volume 7: Within Thee Cross Ov Chaos. 6-2013. 23SOTV7. UK. MP3 Download.+*

Deciduous Flux.
Wesleyoung. +
Jesse Peper. *
John Peper. @
Tina Peper. >
Shelley Peper. “
Edward Ka-Spel.-
Behavior. Discography.

SIS 101. Fallout. 12 1999~1 2000. +#
SIS 102. Southern Inception. 6 2000. +=
SIS 103. Garmonbozia (S. Inception Remix’s). 7~8 2001. +^
SIS 104. Spontaneous Combustion: A. 9 2002. +=
SIS 105. Spontaneous Combustion: B. 9 2002. +=
SIS 106. Time. . . 10 2002. +=
SIS 107. . . .And Time Again. 11 2002. +=
SIS 108. Shock Corridor: Early Versions. 12 02~1 03. +#
SIS 109. Shock Corridor. 1~2 2003. +#
SIS 110. Counter Clockwise. 6 2003. +#~=
SIS 111. Spirited Away. 5~7 2003. +
SIS 112. Giration. 12 2003. +
SIS 113. An Unlikely Event. 3 2004. +#
SIS 114. Contractions. 9 2007. +~<
SIS 115. Confinement. 2 2008. +#~
SIS 116. Womb Sieve I. 6~8 2008. +~
SIS 117. Womb Sieve II. 8 2008. +~
SIS 118. Soundtrack For The Blind (Alone At Sea). 9 2008. +~
SIS 119. Hertz. 10~11 2008. +~
SIS 120. A Toast To Madness. 11 2008. + ~
SIS 121. Mobius Transformation. 4 2011. +`%
SIS 122. Arming My Heart Keeper. 6~8 2011. +
SIS 123. Time Stranger. 8~10 2011. +%
SIS 124. From The Edge (Remix’s). 10 2011. +
SIS 125. Natural Selection. 10 2011. +~
SIS 126. Etymology. 8~9 2012. +#*
SIS 127. Trail Of Tears. 11 2016. +

SIS 02. Wesleyoung. 2002~2012. Comp. 2012. US. #ed lmt to 50.+
SIS 03. Behavior. 2003~2011. Comp 3 of 3. WY+JA Sessions. 2012. US. #ed lmt to 50.+~
SIS 04. Behavior. 2000~2003. Comp 2 of 3. WY+CR Sessions. 2012. US. #ed lmt to 50.+=#~
SIS 05. Behavior. 1999~2008. Comp 1 of 3. WY+CM Sessions. 2012. US. #ed lmt to 50.+#~

Appears On Compilation Releases:
Of Spectre’s & Saints II. 2 Cd (Compilation). 9-2010. Elseproduct29. US. Digi. Lmt to 77.+~
Muslimgauze: From The Edge. Deluxe Edition. 2 Cd (Compilation). 11-2011. TMPS 10. CA. Lmt to 500.+
23 Seconds Ov Time Volume 7: Within Thee Cross Ov Chaos. (Compilation). 6-2013. 23SOTV7. UK. MP3 Download.+

Behavior. (As appears on each recording)
Wesleyoung. +
Caleb McCall. #
Christopher Rowell. =
Jonathan Agent. ~
Grant Hiers. <
Jesse Peper.*
Justin Headrick. `
Charlie Martineau. %
I have lost My Dear Father.......... .. .... ..  . . .  .    .         .          .                            .

Harry Rossar Young Jr.
June 22, 1938 ~ June 21, 2017…
Tarot Deck 1 (Major Arcana).

           I have completed Tarot Deck 1. It consists of 23 cards. The first 22 being the major arcana. The 23rd card being a signed and numbered info card. There is also a business card and sticker included, all kept in a custom stamped cloth bag. This release is limited to 30 decks. I was extremely excited to make this happen. The deck can be purchased at the link below. As always, I am thankful for everyones support! Cheers! WY

WY Trump Deck:…
Garbage Pail Kids/Box 55 winner has been drawn !   

Michael Boyajian of Waltham, MA. Congrats!!! You will receive your GPK box with included packs for Halloween!!!

Box 55 up for grabs on Garbage Pail Kids World website drawing !

My Garbage Pail Kids box (Box #55) is in a drawing from September 1st to September 30 on two website's linked below. You may enter the drawing by messaging them your name and address. The drawing will take place at the end of the month and the box will be gifted to the name drawn. I am happy to be apart of this cool 30th anniversary surprise and wish everyone much luck. This box turned out very nice and will have a pack from every series over this last thirty years (except the 1st series 1985). In the mean time, check out the GPK websites. There is a huge amount of information on there and I visit them often to look into my collections or just plan want to read cool fact about the culture phenomenon or see the latest news. Thanks and cheers !

Barren Arron's Garbage Pail Kids World:

Garbage Pail Kids World: Definitive Source:…

Behavior/Wesleyoung. Links.

Behavior: Bandcamp.

Behavior: Discogs.…

Behavior/Wesleyoung: Youtube.…

Wesleyoung: Discogs.…

Wesleyoung: Audio.

Wesleyoung: Visual.


Deciduous Flux. Links.

Deciduous Flux: Discogs.…

Deciduous Flux: Bandcamp.

Deciduous Flux: Soundcloud.

Deciduous Flux: Facebook.…

Deciduous Flux: Myspace.

Wesleyoung: See above.

Jesse Peper: Visual.

Jesse Peper: Discogs.…

Shamanic Invocation Studio’s: Discogs.…

There is a new music release out today by the band Un Festin Sagital. It is a very limited cassette tape release of only 100 copies out by California based label Black Horizons. The album is titled "Deimos". I composed a piece and Un Festin Sagital worked their magic with it. It appears on this release as track three and is titled "Deimos" as well. It should also be mentioned that the artwork used here is of Jesse Peper's Shadow Folk series in which I had modeled for. It turned out to be a beautiful release and I will add a link below where the cassette may be purchased. A wonderful project to have been apart of. A big thank you to Michel. Cheers.


Un Festin Sagital: Deimos. (Limited to 100 cassette):…

{1993 ~ 2013} Celebrating the 20th Anniversary of my writings.


 July 13, 2013

"World Of Wonder"


What a life

what a life

we have. . .

what a world of wonder

we build our masts

chart our course for plunder

and with the first sign of thunder

we cower to our caves

life is but an illusion

a little flesh, a little pulse

and a lot of insecurity

where does purity go to

when the heart and its innocence

have begun to fade away

what of the spirit

when the body must go the other way

my eyes, they try to see

this path where they must go

and within a fraction of a moment

of this time in which we live

I never wanted to take

yet only wanted to give

and it is because

of all these crazy emotions

that I did my best to live.



October 17, 2013

"?Love. . ?=? . . Faith?"

I had begun my journey at sea

where I could peer into the depths

and see a dark reflection of me

I realized quite quick of my minds dirty trick

to block out and push away

all those who offer me their heart

never sure just where to start

but always certain where to end

preparing to send a message in a bottle

to all those lovers and friends

with my ship, my vessel, my emotions, and pestle

I shoved off,


There is something about the moon

while floating way out here

that comforts the soul, the spirit

a filler for the holes that we have created

those emotions so cruelly exaggerated

it is said "no man is an island"

but what of the moon to the earth

what of my mind to my flesh

a push from the wind then reminds me

the impact direct from cause and effect

there simply must be a point to this thing called love

although I have never been able to find it,


Days, weeks, months go by

where I was left at the mercy of the sea

I had fought, I would plea

for all of the answers to the questions within me

while here I lay beaten and broken

as the waters had left me near death

I awoke to a vision with a gasp for breath

which struck chills deep down to the bone

and I knew at that instant that I'd never return home

in a few moments time I would strike land

never would I be the same man

as a dark black sun arose over the hill,


It's this terrible feeling deep down in my heart

that reminds me of the hue of that sun so dark

I thought to myself, what is this strange place

am I the only one to ever occupy this space

I have journeyed so far, navigated by stars

I searched the constellations, with shaman and guru I sparred

only to walk away with nothing fulfilled

all of the nothing that no one had willed

working to produce a spine in my back

not an imitation but something exact

I was not in search of a beautiful story

nor some conquest of ridiculous glory,


I was on a mission to find myself

and I had already searched every corner of this earth

was I still alive, would I get the heart to work

they say there is a universe within, well that's where I've been

way deep down with the blessings and the sins

losing a lover is like the death of a friend

having to kill them off with inside your head

learning to live without that person you care so much about

dark on the bottom of the infinite abyss

I care for you all so much more than this

one must prepare one's self. . .

for that final stretch of the journey,


All above me clapped with the sound of thunder

and the ground beneath me would tremble and quake

followed by a terrible brooding sound

of some enormous being being tossed all around

and then there it was as I laid my eyes apon it

there lay a mirror in which I could see myself on it

I could see a hideous beastly monster, just the man I that I had become

one must be careful when killing ones enemy when ones enemy may be ones self

then I understood all at once this vision I had had on this night

all of these things that have scarred me may have made me who I am today

but now I will learn to let go of it all for a renewed me to take its place

I will shed my flesh and those memories of old


 to preserve myself and my love for you.



October 17, 2013

"Untitled 22"


Every time the phone rings

my heart drops 

because I think it will be you

oh my God, my heart hurts

because it so deeply misses you

can you not tell me that you love me

because it is all I want to hear

could I have destroyed all this

so easy

I have said some stupid things

and I never want to say them again

you are my heart

my very best friend

and I am slowly dying here

without you

feeling as though I have lost you

I am searching for that blinking light

that beacon

that will lead me back to you.


October 24, 2013

"Like No Other"


I am just a man

another name

another number

I am just a man

born of father

born of mother

I was born a man

not the sister

but the brother

I destroy man

like a plague

like no other.


November 6, 2013

“Untitled 23”


What is it about people

what is it about me and you

that I despise so much

what is it that makes me feel this way

what makes us fuck up

lie, cheat, and steal

ruin all that is good and real

are we just so stupid

or do we just choose to ignore

I have been thinking about it all my life

and I have come to a conclusion

we are all idiots in our own little delusions

sometimes. . . I revel in it

and sometimes it makes me sick

like poking shit with a stick

I am not trying to be an ass here

I just feel like I understand all of us

oh so very clear

history bares witness to what we were

in recent times I have bared witness to what we are

and it takes no fool to know exactly where it is

we are headed

with this said

what kind of ill thoughts does one have

while pondering these words through their head

and what of me. . . Your author

I am just all one big mess I must confess

but feel a hell of a lot better

getting that load off my chest.

August 27, 2014

“Untitled 24”

There is a hole in me

where all that I care about used to be

like a lung losing it’s air

losing all the need and the care

to breathe

I have been living an illusion

a granger of delusions

feeding me what I want to see

all is not what it seems

a new feeling of dying each day

I am searching for a way to beat you

for I can not jump for you

and I need so much more than this

so I stand here in blind fold


and you may fire when ready.

February 11, 2015

"Untitled 25"

Black vinyl
slippery as if wet
slithering along side me...
every space around me
a rabbits hole
where the owl rests in good company
for a smoke and a wink
memories of faces
of that dimming revolution
the leaves were orange
the leaves are red
when the rain comes
I will lose myself
and give myself to the stars
I want to remember you now
just like you were
just like you are
by the light of the moon
there is a river in flow
with a lifetime of images
shadow play
do you. . . can you remember
the tolling of the bell
dark clouds and haunted waves
those were the days
when I slipped into the well
no where to be found
I sounded the call
a cold blue hue
with a shimmering light.


Copyright Owned. Wesleyoung 1993-2014.


A Deciduous Flux & Behavior track appear on a new music compilation. The release is titled "23 Seconds Ov Time Volume 7: Within Thee Cross Ov Chaos". The first track (14:57~15:20) is an unheard segment of "Conjuring The Shades" which appeared on the self-titled Deciduous Flux album that was released just six months ago featuring Edward Ka-Spel. This segment was prior to Edward's Contribution. The second track (15:43~16:05) is a segment of a new Behavior recording. This release can be downloaded free at the link I am providing below. It is an interesting project as well as concept. There are no plans at this moment for the project to be released on cd but I am hoping that will change in the coming months. As well as downloading the album for free, please take a moment to consider making a donation of any size to help support the company who puts out these interesting projects.

Headphones are highly recommended for the best enjoyment of this release.

Link for free Download:…

I felt I would post this for archive purposes. New post for music project "Deciduous Flux" should follow very soon. Cheers.



1) Debbie Gibson. Bronx. 1989. Biloxi, MS.

2) Skid Row. Pantera. 12-31-1991. New Orleans, LA.

3) Kansas. Foghat. Molly Hatchet. Georgia Satellites. 10-16-1993. Biloxi, MS.

4) Smashing Pumpkins. Red Red Meat. 4-8-1994. Biloxi, MS. This was the night Kurt Cobain of Nirvana's body was found. SP played a long dedication of Drain You.

5) Pantera. Sepultura. 8-3-1994. New Orleans, LA.

6) Danzig. Godflesh. Type O Negative. 11-21-1994. New Orleans, LA.

7) DJ Dan. 10-18-1996. New Orleans, LA.

8) CPR Fest: Seven Mary Three. 3 Doors Down. Aisle 9. Vallejio, Cowboy Mouth. Tube. Case Choice. Chalk Farm. Slump. Treehouse. Sister Hazel. 5-24-1997. Biloxi, MS.

9) Pantera. Anthrax. Soylent Green. Coal Chamber. 12-7-1997. Biloxi, MS.

10) Vallejio. Dead Eye Dick. 1997. Biloxi, MS.

11) 3 Doors Down. Aisle 9. Biloxi. Batnicks. Luna Sol. Slump. Gridlock. Guzzo. Mind Train. Level With The Ground. 7-11-1998. Biloxi MS. California Tattoo Studio put this show on and I did body piercing for them at this time. Had V.I.P. for the show.

12) Slaughter. Huckleberry. 1998. Biloxi, MS.

13) Napalm Death. 1999. Ft. Collins, CO.

14) Ministry. Atari Teenage Riot. 60 Second Wipe Out. 8-13-1999. Denver, CO.

*Other. Impressionism. 10-24-1999. Denver Art Museum. Denver, CO.

15) Spitfire Tour: Krist Novoselic. Perry Farrell. Michael Franti. Exene Cervanka. Kennedy of Mtv. 11-10-1999. Denver, CO. Met Krist of Nirvana at this show.

16) The Legendary Pink Dots. Origami Galaktika. Nicoletta Stephanz. 10-21-2002. New Orleans, LA. This was the night I first met the Legendary Pink Dots.

17) The Legendary Pink Dots. Origami Galaktika. Nicoletta Stephanz. 11-9-2002. Denver, CO. Met up with the band for these two shows as well as met Benny of "Origami Galaktika" and Nicoletta of "Coven Of One".

18) The Legendary Pink Dots. Origami Galaktika. Nicoletta Stephanz. 11-10-2002. Denver, CO.

19) Ministry. Nothing Face. Lollipop Lust Kill. Motograter. 4-3-2003. Denver, CO.

20) Iron Maiden. Dio. Motorhead. 8-20-2003. Denver, CO.

21) Edward Ka-Spel w/ The Silverman. Coven Of One. Orbit Service. 10-07-2003. Denver, CO. Met up with the band for this show & every other after.

*Other. El Greco to Picasso. 11-15-2003. Denver Art Museum. Denver, CO.

22) Skinny Puppy. Tweeker. 6-29-2004. Denver, CO.

23) The Legendary Pink Dots. Orbit Service. 7-02-2004. Denver, CO. Gave the Silverman an art box and Edward an old medallion to celebrate their 50th birthdays.

24) Ministry. My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult. 9-17-2004. Denver, CO.

25) Skinny Puppy. Otto Von Schirach. 11-23-2004.

26) Front 242. 11-12-2005. Denver, CO.

27) Ministry. Revolting Cocks w/ Jello Biafra (Dead Kennedy's). 5-12-2006. Denver, CO. Left this show black and blue.

28) Obituary. Dead To Fall. Nicaraguan Death Squad. To Be Eaten. 5-20-2006. Denver, CO.

29) The Legendary Pink Dots. Orbit Service. Munly. 6-10-2006. Denver, CO. Gave the entire band of the Legendary Pink Dots art box's to celebrate their 25th anniversary.

30) Front Line Assembly. 6-11-2006. Denver, CO.

31) KMFDM. Combichrist. Death Stars. 9-29-2006. Denver, CO.

32) Front Line Assembly. 5-13-2007.

33) Skinny Puppy. 5-30-2007. Denver, CO. Also attended a signing with Ogre.

34) Combichrist. 8-28-2007. Denver, CO.

35) Danzig. Gorgeous Frankenstein. HorrorPops. 11-7-2007. Denver, CO. Also featured a surprise set of the "Misfits" with guest, Doyle of the original misfits.

36) Ministry. Meshuggah. 4-12-2008. Denver, CO. W/guest Burton C. Bell of Fear Factory. Had V.I.P. for this show and met everyone.

37) Kraftwerk. 4-23-2008. Denver, CO.

38) Roger Waters/Dark Side Of The Moon. 4-30-2008. Denver, CO.

39) The Legendary Pink Dots. 10-21-2008. Denver, CO.

40) Danzig. Dimmu Borgir. Moonspell. Winds Of Plague. Skeletonwitch. 11-1-2008. Denver, CO. Got a cool azz high five from Danzig. "Hey, I was excited".

41) Ohgr. American Memory Project. 11-27-2008. Denver, CO. Also went to a signing.

*Other. William Kentridge Exibit. 3-26-2009. San Fran Museum of Modern Art. CA.

42) Nurse With Wound. 3-26-2009. San Francisco, CA. Met Steven Stapleton.

*Other) Went to a KMFDM signing. 10-9-2009. Denver, CO.

43) Bonnie Prince Billy. w/guest Cheyenne Mize. 4-5-2009. Denver, CO.

44) Nine Inch Nails. Jane's Addiction. Street Sweeper Social Club. 5-26-2009. Denver, CO.

45) Cannibal Corpse. Slayer. Killswitch Engage. Bullet For My Valentine. Trivium. All That Remains. God Forbid. Behemeth. The Black Dahlia Murder. WhiteChapel. Job For A Cowboy. Marilyn Manson. Switchpin. 7-19-2009. Denver, CO.

46) Butthole Surfers. Psychic Ill's. Circle # Dot. 10-09-2009. Denver, CO. Broke my ribs from my sternum at this show.

47) Skinny Puppy. Otto Von Schirach. 11-07-2009. Denver, CO.

48) Cannibal Corpse. 1349. Skeletonwitch. Lecherous Nocturne. 5-03-2010. Denver, CO. Met Cannibal Corpse. Also gave the band an art box which appears on the bands "Global Evisceration" dvd.

49) The Legendary Pink Dots. Munly and the Lupercalians. 10-19-2010. Denver, CO.

50) Download. Plateau. Dead Voices On Air. Gnome & Spybey. Not Breathing. 1-19-2011. Denver, CO. Hung out with Dave of "Not Breathing" while in town.

51) Meat Beat Manifesto. Not Breathing. 2-15-2011. Denver, CO. Hung out with Dave of "Not Breathing" while in town.

52) Behemeth. Watain. The Devil's Blood. In Solitude. Nightbringer. 4-17-2012. Denver, CO. Met and hung out with "In Solitude". Gave my custom zippo to the voice of "The Devil's Blood".

53) Opeth. Mastodon. Ghost. 4-23-2012. Denver, CO.

54) Biosphere & Lustmord: Trinity. 4-28-2012. Boulder, CO. Met B. Lustmord.

55) Edward Ka-Spel & The Silverman. 5-18-2012. Denver, CO.

56) Edward Ka-Spel & The Silverman. 5-19-2012. Denver, CO. Met up to discuss Deciduous Flux cd release.

57) Umberto. Scammers. Strange Powers. 5-28-2013. Denver, CO. Met Matt Hill/Umberto.

58) Goblin, Secret Chiefs 3. 10-15-2013. Denver, CO.

59) Watain. In Solitude. Tribulation. 10-18-2013. Denver, CO.

60) Ozomatli Performing with The Colorado Symphony Orchestra. 12-7-2013. Denver, CO.
61) Keb' Mo' Band. 1-4-2015. Boulder, CO.
62) Lon Milo Duquette. 6-28-2015. Arvada, CO.

63) Psychic TV. 12-11-2015. Denver, CO.

64) The Legendary Pink Dots. 9-20-2016. Denver, CO.

65) James Heath (Solo) of Reverend Horton Heat, Dale Watson (Solo), Randall Conrad Olinger (Solo). 11-17-2017. Denver, CO.



It should be noted that these are shows I have attended and not shows I have performed.








Skin Deep.

                 I was asked to play a part in a very short student film created here in Colorado. It is titled Skin Deep and by Director Hannah Morgan. At the last minute the actor had backed out and so I was asked in their place. I am quite a hermit and normally have no intrest in doing such a thing but the project was fun and so there you go. I am adding a link below where it can be viewed. Cheers. Wesleyoung

Skin Deep:
I am in process of setting up a discogs page where an in depth amount of info will soon be posted on all of the music projects I have been involved with since 1999. This will include bio's, all releases on cd, etc. I am eager to accomplish this as I am OCD and it will be nice to make amends where needed on the history of Behavior & Deciduous Flux. As well bring to light the latest material thats become available for consumption. I am droping links below where the information will soon appear. Cheers. WY

Deciduous Flux:…
Wesley Young:…
Deciduous Flux. A music project between fellow artist Jesse Peper and I have an album that has just been released. This album also has a very special guest, Edward Ka-Spel of The Legendary Pink Dots. Edward has musical and lyrical contributions on the entire project. The only words I can use to explain this eclectic audio/visual experiment is "Magical".  I believe the finished product does well in sending the listener to the same place, feelings/state of mind as was experienced by ourselves when in the creative process. Edward's appearance here is superb and a huge thank you is due. I am immensely proud of the collaborative visuals Jesse and I put together for the release as well. There has been a limited run of 500 professionally pressed cd's in jewel cases each individually shrink wrapped. I will be posting a link below where the item may be purchased as well as a link where you may purchase directly from the Legendary Pink Dots webstore, for all those ordering from across Europe and abroad. A Happy Holiday's to all. Cheers. Wesleyoung

Beta-Lactam Records (US).…

The Legendary Pink Dots (Outside US)15.00 euro:…
Deciduous Flux

Deciduous Flux began channeling energies through recordings early 2011 in Denver Colorado. It is the ongoing creative collaboration between Wesleyoung and Jesse Peper. Wesleyoung, a visual artist and also the founder and proprietor of a collective abstract underground sound project known as Behavior. Jesse Peper is primarily a painter, but has also performed and/or recorded with Not Breathing, Waltedtful, Legerdemain and Icedagaz. Deciduous Flux was originally conceived a few years earlier than this as a visual collaboration between both artists which resulted in a series of large paintings. During the Development of these artworks many conversations often led to the discussion on the medium of sound, as both of us have always kept a love for the craft of sound.

At this time we have been recording a year and a half resulting in 12 full recording sessions. Much of this material is in production and will be released to the public within the coming months. Our recording process is quite different than the usual conventional  approaches on what music is "seen as" or "supposed to be" to the world. On one hand we are obsessed on the opiates of oblivion and we are recording constantly for no outcome other than for our own meditation purposes, for achieving various states and documenting them through the recording process. This, within itself, is an intoxicating pre-procedural agent for what follows! Largely our aim is to capture these otherworldly trans-dimensional expressions or bleed-throughs with the proper elements to perform the divine inductions, invocations and evocations etc, through the methods of our ritual. The tradition we naturally adopt is more akin to that of the shaman than it is to modern modalities of thinking. We recognize the spirit-forms or energies around us to guide us within appropriate directions according to our will and desire.

On another hand, at times we see our process fall into a method which we have described as automatic recordings, similar to some degree in the approach of automatic drawings only using sounds rather than images as the medium with which to explore, amass and create our impressions on the hanging space of time. Within the Deciduous Flux is like a painting with sounds. A rich palette of sound to create and stimulate visions both from externally and internally. Each byproduct of the recordings presents an invocation of elements which create metaphysical vortexes to other dimensions with which the listener can also gain access to if the desire to do so exists.

Note: We have just completed a set of recordings with Edward Ka-Spel of the Legendary Pink Dots. They will be released in a limited edition of 500 on cd. They are being pressed as we speak and will be released on or around Christmas 2012. Links will be posted where they can be bought here in the states through and will be avaliable for purchase overseas from Edward direct. Details and pic's will follow very shortly as well. Cheers.
Some news involving my Game Boy mod's: A unique little site here on the web by the name of Kitsch Bent, which is all to do with game boy modding has some of my game boy's, etc up for sale. I see a few have sold already. I love this wonderful site. It was my friends interest in 8bit/chip tunes with his very cool music project "IcedagaZ" that started my obsession back into handheld heaven. Some other very interesting news came to me as well. Henson Studio's of the Jim Henson company (Labyrinth, Dark Crystal, The Muppets) approached my friend at Kitsch Bent about getting, not software recreations but authentic chip sounds into their Henson Recording Studio's. In the end a donation was made in the form of a modded Game Boy DMG-01 (Classic original) to the studio and the housing chosen was one that I had designed and painted (Concept 8). To hear this is a huge honour for me as I am a huge fan of Henson Studios especially for such releases by them as "Mirrormask". A movie I must recommend. To know that an approaching movie project of theirs could have some sounds on it made from our (Kitsch Bent & I) game boy is quite humbling to say the least. A big thank you to Kitsch Bent. I'll be dropping a link below where you can check out this cool site so that you can start modding your own game boy as well as a link to "IcedagaZ" take a listen. A weird coinsidence is that Jim Henson and I myself are both from Mississippi. I guess it is a small world.

Kitsch Bent:



Info into the world of 8bit/chip tunes:

I (as Behavior) have two tracks on the new Muslimgauze re-issue, "From The Edge-Deluxe Edition", a 2cd release with gorgeous Papyrus covers hand made and printed in Egypt all boxed within a super jewel box. As with the past releases, Always a nice unique quality release with The Muslimgauze Preservation society & Fathom Distribution. Featuring some great artists like Chris & Cosey (Formerly from Throbbing Gristle) and Faust, to name a few (not to mention a poster inside by the man, the artist, the ninja Jesse Peper). Muslimgauze/Bryn Jones is one of the most influential bands/musicians on myself. To be apart of this special release is quite an honour. A big thank you to Ibrahim at Fathom. This beautiful 2cd set will be avaliable for a limited time as it is a limited art edition of only 500. I am dropping a link below where the cd's can be purchased. Cheers!












Behavior, a music project that I have been active with now for some twelve years has appeared on a cd release on the ElseProduct label. A special 2cd project to be released on Halloween 2010. The release is entitled "Of Spectre's And Saint's II" and is themed to the mysterious shadow people. The artwork covering this beautiful release is by renowned artist Jesse Peper. It comes with a special booklet containing many themed illustrations as well as writings on the subject by the artist himself. I am very please to have a track on each disc of this compilation as well as was invited to make the special wood art box releases for the artists involved. Many great artists such as Black Sun Productions, Icedagaz (Jesse Peper), Esperik Glare, 3Z13, Surface Hoar, & Adam Stalker take part here. I have posted a link below where this item may be purchased. A huge thank you to ElseProduct. Cheers


Behavior: on soundcloud
It appears that one of my many box's has shown it's face in the new dvd out by the death metal band CANNIBAL CORPSE, Entitled GLOBAL EVISCERATION. A small amount of time is spent by their lead singer George "CorpseGrinder" Fisher explaining the box. All of this I found to be pretty cool as I am a pretty huge fan of Cannibal Corpse. I am adding a link below where the dvd can be purchased. A nice odyssey of the groups adventures on the road as well as kick ass live footage from around the world. A huge THANK YOU to Cannibal Corpse. Cheers. Wesleyoung

Cannibal Corpse: Global Evisceration at Metal Blade Records:…

Cannibal Corpse: Global Evisceration Preview:

March 13, 2003

 "A Moment Of Silence"

way down where some people go
as the sins piled up
and the flame
it grows and grows
sometimes you just feel so tired
and you can't wait just to go...
to sleep
deep into the nothingness
the place where peace and rest
are found

the run, it begins
in desperate need
a struggle that thins
within the burning of the knees
which I so often
try to repent on
the thieves and their caravan recede

a growth and two little girls
that light up my life
a touch to a soul that is so...
very old inside
I will try
and then I will try harder
to light up those beautiful blue eyes
nothing else could make me this high

does anyone out there see what is around you?
don't you see the grey that replaces the color
when those faces become passionate less
bloodless... lifeless...
and then we must rebegin
does anyone hear the terror in an animal's screams?
not the seams that create the canvas
of those who consider themselves righteous and set
themselves aside...
we all hide
from death

we must reach back... way back
from the light which we are from
that simple flicker
that simple wind that effects us
we are all linked to one another
this mother earth
this father
of us and our daily bread
no one ever said or wrote
that it was easy
to live

if we could march to the heart
as we do to the beat of the drums of war
I would give myself up just to know
that you are ok.

December 31, 2003

"A Fable For Lilith"

Those beautiful wind chimes in the wind
those beautiful endings in the end
the jump of the heart
in your chest
it makes the rest of those worries go away
a rainy day in Norway
no way can you leave this
in only a minor way could I imagine this
because I have never been there
but the end
i've never been there either
on my way
a single letter can change a word
a single word can change a letter
and words my dear girl are so powerful
an original signal in a world of mass production
absinthe of reality
I look back and I miss you
little Lilith
touch this tone my dear girl
and know that I love you.

October 9, 2004

"The Rest Of Your Life"

I look at you
and I see myself
I stare at what we are
and I fear myself

I run from you and I hide form myself
I scream in horror
and in mirrors... I see myself
hiding is hard
for the rest of your life
a child is like a robot
they only want to believe in themselves

life sure asks a lot
and yet leaves Camelot waiting at the finish line
only wasted away for tears

all these years
to find that dreams are not real
all these years
to try and understand how to be or feel

and I still haven't figured this out
this way we rub each other out.

January 5, 2005

"Untitled" 2

It is hard knowing you have lost your soul mate
and no matter what you say or do
or how hard you try
it's just to late
to turn back the hands of time

I cry and I suffer
slowly dying from a broken heart
just what kind of a thing is love these days
when it's the death of the only part
of us that we seemed to share together

oh, how ignorant we were to not have let go
of those things that meant nothing
slowly dying because half of me is missing
those feelings that flow through your body
not when making love but only kissing

why could we not have reconciled
for us, ......, and our new born child
I am slowly dying of a broken heart
and still what is this part that just will not let me let go

this I feel I may never know
but that must be love.

March 3, 2005

"Dearest Mother"

There is in no way
any other
that could replace you
we are all close
with our sisters
and our brothers
but never could something come so close
to eyes full of tears
from just a picture of your mother
a love that is by far unique
a feeling where descriptive words
remain bleak
from an innocent child
to a thief and a sneak
and back again
her heart only hurts
but it never turns its back
but only tries to lend a hand
you have touched my life
and were so unselfish to have created it
I could never have had a greater example
yet only I was allowed to sample
and witness greatness in this woman
if ever there was an omen sent to me
it was here
in the footsteps of my mother

I will always love you.

March 15, 2005

"Just One last goodbye From The Heart"

I draw pictures...
thinking of you
I create music...
about you
I gaze at beautiful things
and I wonder just how you would see them
through your eyes...

like being in love
with a ghost
a void that can never be filled
like a kid again
hot off the heels of love
I paint pretty pictures and smiles for you
because I know that is how you would like it
all of this on fond memories
but at night
at bedtime... sometimes
all alone this little boy cries
for those he misses.

April 11, 2005


In this world of so much hidden
I find myself getting lost in the great mystery
but in soul
and in the world to come
I will look down upon you
like a giant tree
and see the light in your eyes
and you will light up my heart
with love
through this I will live forever
through this
I hope that always in some form or manner
a part of us
will remain together
I love you.

May 10, 2005

"Untitled" 3

Days like these
these emotions
giving me the power
for motion to cross all oceans
I just get freaking pissed
I missed the good emotions when they were passed out
but this is no reason to count me out
I'll put out...
all the amps you need
like knocking the brains out of a crack head
I just can't stand them
worthless trash
like a blackhead on the ass of life
but I'm trying
I'm trying to be better
whether or not it works
we'll just have to weather
two faced son of a bitches
blah, blah, blah, blah
nothing but shit escapes their mouths
I have sincerely no doubt
that my nose itches
stitches maybe?
yes, but that's not the way I like to win
death is the great equalizer
faith, the great provider
the great divider
so as the recluse
I simply must reduse
the weight of my anchor
in this world

I hate what we have become
and I am tortured by demons.

May 26, 2005

"Untitled" 4

This world is such a place
I gaze at an image
and shed a grin
how long then
has it been
since this moment in time was frozen
what time has passed
since this all came to be

I was swimming in a stream
everything felt so unnatural
something... like a dream
but my feelings unlike the dream, were quite sharp
the sky grew very dark
however, focusing my view of the stars
what time has passed?
since our first landing... here on earth

I have shed my skin
I have become
I will stretch my wings to create a giant shadow
to hasten the light in my eyes
a start, a new beginning
a metamorphosis
a surrender.

May 31, 2005

"Untitled" 5

I am happy
I am ok
I am rounding 28
I am young
I feel
I smile
I get lonely
I get anxious
I am a widow
I am an old grouch
I am a ghost
I am surreal
but I am for real
I have hurt people
I have made people happy
I have two little girls
I miss them
I live for them
I don't know why else i'd live here and now
in this shit hole
surrounded by these assholes
I am crazy
I am sometimes a little lazy
I like TV a little
I create things
I have destroyed things
God thought me out very well
I mean, imagine me president
I'd scare myself
I like cats
I like mountains
I like rivers
they give me comfort
but nothing like the comfort of the hole I live in

I am a recluse
I don't understand people's modern motives
I can't grasp my world now
when it is so quickly being destroyed around me
I smile
I like rain
I wish it could cleanse all the mistakes that I
...have made
I am eccentric
small things mean a lot to me
it is happening
will you be there?
without eye movement the body would seem so hollow
without difference a heart can seem dead
without an opened mind! are we?
sometimes I love this world
I have been blessed
may the orange and purple leaves shower upon me
I am dying
but after all, I am only human.

July 22, 2005


Oh... Dear God
the misery and the woe
I do not know
if I will survive this one
from the large lump in my throat
to the helpless feelings inside
it's just getting to damn hard to hide
if I had the courage
id rip these insides out
a dizzy, nauseous stench consumes me

and I just may not have the courage to save me...
... this time.

May 1, 2007

"Show Me a Sign"

I am selfish
because I am lost?
and cannot find my way?
what words do I have to use
to say I love you
what words do I have to say
to lead you back to me

why must I wait
when I long for you
why must I hesitate
to create a world just for you
must I say goodbye
to the kisses
and the whispers

nibble on my ear
and send ecstasy down my spine
our hearts entwined
I still release
a message in a bottle
and long that one day
it will find you

please find me.

June 3, 2007


I see you
watching... following me from room to room
when I look up upon the sun
and see the son
I know I am staring you directly in the eyes
you are right next to me
during my most intimate of moments
you stand there and laugh... mocking me
when I am lonely and crying for someone to hold
I cannot see you but I know you are there
when I hide in my most secret of places
I see you have already found me
I see you
watching...waiting for me
as clocks tick
as time moves forward
as others die and fall around me
as memories fade away from me
I know I am staring you directly in the eyes
you are right next to me
others do not
but I see you
only I am grinning back


June 12, 2007

"The Misshapen Circle" Or "The Origin Of The Heart"

A shape of what once was perfect
time has misshapen you and left you untrue
a circle in writhe
just where does the heart reside?
where do you hide within us

thirty years I have spent
in and out of your grasp
only left gasping for a most needed breath
what so pushed down at your center north
so pulled at your south pole
and how does this create holes within us

are you the nausea when I am scarred
are you the desire when I lust
do you not let me let go
of those I still relive moments with
are you the rage, are you the helplessness
and why do I still love all of you

the heart has destroyed me
and has built me back up again
to see the wonders of life
to experience the beauty
of suffering
learning to master something
I never asked for

the locust plague roses
one horseman now rides among us
but much is left to be done
and all from histories desires of the heart.

June 16, 2007


I pour out my soul
for the world to see
my world
my own being
all that I was
all that I am
and all that I will be
I just want you to see
why I love you all so very much
it hurts to watch you
fade away
it tears my stomach into
to let you go
I just did not know
what else I could do
my heart hurts for the world
and all of its people
I wish I could take it all away
and feed you
comfort you
give you the rest that you long for
I had to shut the door upon you
I am so sorry
I just cannot see you suffer
I in my world
tainted... polluted
a blister on the lips of cupid
all that I was
all that I am
and all that I will be
I long to take you home.

June 22, 2007


I walked away from home
warm blankets
the shimmer of light dancing from the fire
I walked away
purpose, thought, compassion
love, expression
where the parts come together and meet
weighed against a feather
I respect a woman in a veil
one who hides their secret precious soul in purity
eyes no longer feeding lust
a lotus, a poppy
man is an animal
and hell is here and now
but then a cello
a violin, a clarinet
all these things begin to sing to me
and my feelings focus
we all are a part of each other
and this seal I hold in my hand
is now broken...

I hear a trumpet sound.

June 24, 2007

"Written In Stone"

All the lights are out
darkness that is black
so black
it has produced a shine
coming from the light suffering in my soul
the whole world asleep
within the ground
completely no sounds
except the ones in my ear
not used to not being able to hear

the earth barren now
an entire desert
a place of mourning
where have all the whales gone
I cannot hear them singing to me
where are all of the trees
the sounds of the wind blowing through the leaves
where have the living went to
and why have I been left behind
I tried to be good
I really never meant to hurt anyone

I still remember
the sun, the moon and the stars
even though they are gone
I still feel the wounds
now replaced by the scars
I was meant to be all alone
it was written in stone
I remember reading it
in a near death experience
I will remember you all... forever
I love you and take care.

June 28, 2007

"Take Your Next Right"

Life has no pain
when there is nothing to lose
hit cruise
wait for the fork in the road
life is a commode
so take your right
right choice, wrong answer
you just may be infected with cancer
Santa, Satan
all these deities
the Easter bunny!?
what the fuck?!
this town needs an enema.

July 2, 2007

"Complete Nothing"

I am a complete nothing
and I have accomplished just that
all of this you see
all of this you hear
you can not feel
and so
it means nothing
worthless... pointless
even created
from nothing.

July 11, 2007


yet still I hold you close to me
to my hole
that once contained my heart
my soul
I love you with all of this part of me
that remains
I cannot begin
to begin letting go
of what remains
my outer shell is dying
and I cannot seem to slough
what must one do
when preparing for this fall
take a hand
or take a foot
but never walk a day
in my shoes
I choose
or have chosen
to lose the love of those around me
I let go
while they still loved me
so I would never let you down
or ever let you go
for there is something about me
that you simply have to know

you will never see me again.

July 12, 2007

"Untitled" 6

Why do I hide so much inside
velvet red petals
the beauty of insignificance
soft blue aroma
smoke of a kettle
the fragrance of pleasure
your eyes capture me
A storm is coming
the sun falls and then so
the moon rises
will another heart capture me
with just a smile
sink its teeth into me
the mystery of your beautiful heart
charges me
the way you smiled and looked away
an arrow to the heart.

July 12, 2007


I dream
of another world
another place
a space for you and I
to not exist
a place with no time
where feelings are not allowed
and mystery
shroud each and every one of us
where no one is special
but everyone is welcome
a place of no questions
where somthingness does not exist
and nothingness
sometimes leaves me pissed
a place where there is nothing
I feel the need to resist
a fist raised
where no flag or race
separate us
where we all come together
as one
a single sphere
a circle
a sun
where we all run
on a single heartbeat
where no one lost
and everyone won.

July 18, 2007

"History Repeats Itself"

A celebration
in life
a celebration
in death
we spend our life running
hiding from that day
yet as soon as we are born
we are dying
stop crying for their leaving
and celebrate their becoming
we hold on to too many things here
idols all around us
pull the wool from your eyes
and take a real look at what is around you
and a good look
at just who and what you really are
learn from the scars
because soon this time of ours
will simply
be history.

July 31, 2007

"The Arrival"

Doomed... destined
to destroy myself
I am a monster inside
huge and insane
an entire race of rage inside of me
evil spirits dance around me
chanting hateful things
cursing me
doing immoral things
ugly things
there is a beauty to insanity
but oh how it hurts inside of me
and oh how I grow so tired
of the burden
I hold the black sun upon my back
the arrival.

August 6 ,2007

"Grant Me A Place"

My fingers glide across your lips
as love slips within us
a heavy breath
kiss me, kiss me
with your lips
open your heart for me
grant me a place
for this mind to rest
I lay my heavy head
upon your breast
in your arms
I nestle
no longer needing to wrestle
with the world around me
does anyone
have that someone
this day in time
and if so
why can I not find
an unconditional heart.

August 8, 2007

'"A World At Play"

A world at play
yet a world away
here I am sitting
shinning my shoes
sharpening my smile
just a few miles left
of this world that has kept
so much from me
filigree hates and worries
cleaning right off
I'll be getting off
at the next stop please
but of course the world will tease me
and offer me treats
to distract my wary mind to change the direction
of these feet
but I have become strong
and calloused
all those years of misery
all those years of woe
I learned to hang on
but now I can let go
and who really knows
just where this spirit will go
well I know
I have seen it
I have been there
I know.

August 14, 2007

"The Fallen"

My dearest father
I come to you with a heavy heart
and I come to you
with a heavy head
like being
and thinking
like those around me
but instead
I am so different
my feelings so intense
yet I cannot grasp the most simple of things
although I like being alone
I so very miss each and every one of you
I cannot change what I may have said
and I cannot change what I may have done
but I ask you all to forgive me
for being my father's son.

August 22, 2007

"Sixth Sense"

One black bird
one black hare
one dark view
one cold stare

two full feet
the length of two hands
two full arms
two lets stand

three whole lives
three times failed
tried three other occasions
three sets of stairs

four destinations
four lost directions
four good attempts
at mind disection

five whole years
five worlds away
I reach out to five hearts
and five hearts run astray

sixth sense.

August 27, 2007

"Untitled" 7

A long time coming
a wait
to hesitate
would cancel out fate
perfectly executed
slain in the name
of it's father
and I am no one
just another man's son
a pun...
in a black place
a candle is burning
and the light of that candle
is the light of my spirit
clumsily I waste away.

August 30, 2007

"The Curse Of Man"

Oh father of waters
I hear your call
and I respond
I escape the bondage
of this modern culture of death
I come to you
God's beauty has blessed your soils and forests
we cut into the earth's flesh with our roads
we pound its body
we cover its breathing with our concrete
I will not retreat
from pulling down this flag
that stands in your way of peace
oh father time
oh mother earth
forgive us of our ignorance
forgive me in my rebellion
a bit of hell rests within me
and I aim to expel it
I just tell it like it is
your spirit lives on
and when I am gone
who will fight
to save you...

no one
the curse of man.

September 11, 2007

"Where The Innocence was Lost"

Life is a funny thing
no other such a game
has ever been
nor ever will be
stripped of my seed
left to suffer
for such little deeds
where here
does a balance begin
what is tucked away
deep within us
that makes us do the things we do
say the things we say
what of the feelings
when I find myself missing you all
what of it all... really
when we are dead and gone
did it ever mean
anything at all?
or did we learn this
one day at recess
one day out at play
where the innocence became lost
and the lust
began our wasting away.

September 18, 2007

"One And The Same"

has transformed me
changed me
the direction of my heart
my art
consumes me
a simple reflection
of days that have passed
I will never grasp
but will never forget
what I ounce was
nor where I am from
and the time you all existed
within my heart
a dissection of my art
and the same
I tried to tame my love for you
to no avail
I miss you all.

September 18, 2007


I am so very pleased to meet you
I have been so eager to greet you
in this over emotional way
that I have become so good at
a way that opens myself
and prepares for the sound
of bombs hitting the ground
getting the world prepared for me
I wouldn't want to shock anyone
whilst you are having your fun
but not everyone is quite like you
in fact
we have nothing in common
a common mistake these days

September 19, 2007


Life is a journey
a spirit yearning
for its freedom
from this body of flesh
sometimes I get tired
and sometimes I feel so alone
the feelings of loss
missing from home
all the miles I have flown
yet here I am
just a man
sometimes feeling like a little boy
a toy
for those around me...
well, didn't I fit the part
did my creations, my art
take you to where it was that you wanted to go
I am not an angel
I am not special
I am nothing
and that somehow makes me feel like something
just know
you are with me
where ever it is that I go.

October 22, 2007

"Untitled" 8

My heart
a pulse... my rhythm
sentimental something's
perforating into being
when listening
my eyes are seeing
a place not of this world
yes my world is right here
my thought propels
but no one steers
just in for the ride
and I have nothing to hide
but beware
I am my own worst enemy.

October 24, 2007

"Rain From The Heavens"

Today there was rain...
rain from the heavens
the wind pushing upon the bamboo
chiming out a tune
clouds rolling over the grassy hills
our giant friends today
everything natural has a spirit
and oh, how we must embrace it
but what do I know?
I am alien here.

October 25, 2007


To touch,

so very much runs through me
to touch
to hold
to feel
what else makes one
feel more real
I remember your tender lips
to hold your hips
to not hide
oh, how your kiss made me feel
warm and crazy inside
your flesh with its feel and its smell
how it felt so good
how it hurt so bad
how it put me
through this sort of hell

I can no longer seem to tell
where it is
that I am going
I am embedding my feelings
in cold steel
in an attempt to seal out the bad
and in doing all this
I am making others sad
within a sphere
in time and space
I will walk away from this place
I will conquer fear
oh, dear little angel
I see your precious smile
and simply cannot hold back the tears.

October 29, 2007

"Fall away"

When I have used every word
when I repeat myself over and over again
when I exhaust myself with my own self
what then... to awake in the morning
and do it all again
there are moments where the line I walk
begins to thin
I kind of just smile...and give me grin
when within, I am crying
some sort of slow dying
a process where something is prying
to get in... or out

I am the great mystery, the great nothing
my work is witness to our behavior
I await our savior
where all time will fall away
and I will show him these things
the lust, desire, and greed
the animals we have abused
where our wants became our needs
how humanity became almost obsolete
where everything sacred became relics beneath our feet
where self respect had no meaning or value
a time when the human body is nothing more
than just a piece of meat.

November 1, 2007

"To Not Feel Human"

Burn myself
to smell the skin
the cross that I am branding
for dispelling the sin
I am up
and around the bend
an excuse
whatever makes me feel
not like a man (human)
because I can.

November 14, 2007

"Untitled" 9

I stand before a field of many
and A glow alights
among the darkness of night
a lotus blossom
smiles at my grinning face
the first time for a feel of comfort
of someone within my inner space
an innocence through pain and suffering
here I float in a thought
that I ought not
but it makes me truly happy
and you my beautiful lotus
how you shimmer under the moon and the stars
I may never be by your side
but please allow me to sigh
for the relief I receive
from the honesty of your mind
you are the first I have seen
of our kind.

November 15, 2007

"Without Words"

I write this letter to you
but not for you
I mean...not for your eyes
but for your heart
I have never had a thing to give
but my art
which is merely a fraction
a small part
of this huge emotion
I would love to hide me
but my common sense is beside me
I hurt inside my heart
and I will never find the parts
that have left me empty
I will never see you
I will never hold you
but that... is all ok
just as long as we may laugh and talk
and stir that spirit inside me
thank you.

November 26, 2007

"The Smell Of Sweet Little Memories"

I am reaching for the sky
nothing there, I need to hide
eyes wide
come for me
I spread my wings..
begin to fly
lift me
raise me
up beyond the clouds
shroud me with your wonder
as we plunder space and time
my face is only a mask
and my mask is only nothing
it is deep within my heart
whatever that is?
Where I hold my sweet little somethings.

December 5, 2007

"A Myth"

I've become so very tired
so very hardened
my everything expired
my mind
well, he's been retired
pass me the screwdriver
and that pair of pliers
i'll tighten those loose screws and bolts
add a few volts
and I'll be ready to go
I just don't know
how much longer this heart
is going to hold together
I so hope so
I long to fall in love
the myth...
you know.

December 10, 2009

"A Tree For Thee"

I have painted a tree for thee
and oh, how beautiful it has risen to be
reds, and gold's, and all
I so hope that you will like it
and ponder upon hanging it upon your wall
an honor it would be
so that a part of me
can exist, within your world
I think of a fountain and a tree.

December 29, 2007

"Pouring Pigments"

gold is feeding me
and with an appetite I do eat
when he no longer feeds me
I will lie back and sleep
as he commands
awaiting his call
for then I will awake
with a wealth of color
and paint heaven and all.

January 7, 2009

"Untitled" 10

The things we do
and the things we say
I am quite unsure why we act this way
a bit like night and day
a sadness...or a madness
in a world so hard to show an act of kindness
leaving me with a blank expression
a blindness that I do not see myself
a time when an act of giving
is taken as an act of receiving
a place where common sense becomes vague
a type of emotional plague
that is sure to bring me down
isn't there a new, different sort of town
where I may hang my hat
where I may rest my heavy head
a place where I can fall asleep
the moment I hit the bed
a moment in time that can be all mine
a place where feelings do not die
but live on forever
an image that defies all time.

January 31, 2008

"Within Myself"

The war being fought within myself
a short shelf life
a series of events
and not a single bit of hints
have made a bit of sense to me
I endure and I hold back
I do all that I can to keep this engine on its tracks
and despite all of the facts
none of you ever really knew me
because I didn't even know myself
a short shelf life...
but just a reminder
I figured it all out.

February 17, 2008

"A True Story"

Something very old
very dark...very evil
exists deep within me
it tugs at my hope
and it sneers with all of my laughter
a burden... a struggle
I fight every day, a war within me
there are those who do not believe in evil
but I know this not to be true
for it is me and it is you
oh, mighty spirit of light
deliver us from this darkness
open our eyes to what is around us
open your very heart
and with your love deliver us up
I will carry this burden
and I will conquer it
because I refuse to be enslaved.

May 13, 2008

"Untitled" 11

The temple it grows
and exceeds in size
a pyramid of hope
a blessing in disguise
growth, triggered by ambition
and hell...
I just wanna go fishin'.

May 20, 2008

"Untitled" 12

I cannot get back what I have lost
I cannot hold on to what I have
and I will never understand just what I am.

May 29, 2008


I will die
and I will be scared
and I will float away from here
bliss will catch and embrace me
but here I am
in a mirror
and I see the things that I have done
I see so much more
so much clearer.

June 7, 2008

"I Do Not Belong Here"

I am all alone sitting here at home
must everyone I know or have ever known
kill others within their mind
have killed someone in battle
or have killed an unborn child
I am not trying to make a big deal
I am just trying to get out that way that I feel
we have become a culture of death
and to put it simply
I never can seem to get a real breath
I do not like it here anymore
I do not like the people , the whores
I do not like the stores
these wars against human freedom
I am ready to step away from here
but just how is not yet clear
I may have a touch of regret
I may have an ounce of fear
but just as long as my decision
takes me far away from here.

December 25, 2008

"Untitled" 13

I am a utensil
as needed as all the rest
a spork for feeding
the filth to all the best
a vessel for my heart
whatever that is
I know I care.... just prefer to do alone
because I seem to not understand
any of you
humans I mean
I wouldn't want to single anyone out
you see people, sanity is in a drought
and I just seem to spout ignorance
to all ears that will hear me
so here it is in writing
here it is in words
we are fucking up our world you see
and that is why I have anxiety
fun and highs don't take it away
I don't care what you're made of
I don't give a damn if you're straight or gay
our consciousness has got to change
there is no other way
now go enjoy your gluttonous selves
on this fine charismas day.

March 5, 2009

"Left Behind"

In a world apart
it is so very hard
to find a place to start
to use the right words
that exist within your heart
oh, what I would endure
oh, what I would put myself through
to hold just a fraction of you
within my arms
to protect you from harm's way
to be humbled with tears
to shield you from the greatest of all fears
what a woman you have become
and oh, how emotionally dumb
I have turned out to be
now with my head upon my pillow
I am finding it hard to stop
I know that it is not you
but all with inside of me
how dumb I have turned out to be
yes, live for yourself
do not waste the day
let no one hold you from your dreams
let nothing that you want
waste away
for all time is precious
in its own little way
I search and I search
for all the words that I wish I could say
but upon searching and searching
I cannot seem to find my way
to them, to you, to me
I may never see
for I am blind
but behind it all I hold a candle for you
and for each one the wind blows out
I will light another two
not all for being crazy or obsessed
but simply for a respect I hold for you

take care... I will miss you.

March 5, 2009

"Untitled" 14

What good is an unconditional heart
when there is no one for it to care for
when there is no one there to love
I have searched all over for the answers
here, there
below... above
the devils of fire
the spirit of the dove
I am losing my faith in love.

March 6, 2009

"Untitled" 15

A world full
of hate and love
a glove that I cannot escape
a hole agape
chaste by that of silk and of lace
I meditate upon grace
for no release
a heart of fleece and of feathers
I long for
to shield me from this terrible weather
an immaculate embrace
the caress of a kiss
is what most I miss
with arms tightly wrapped around me
to stare in one's eyes
and dissolve away time
to step back from this terrible place
without this all
what do I do with this empty space
through a looking glass I do stare
at this ragged blonde hair and I ask myself
where do I go from here?

April 24, 2009

"A Temporary Retreat"

It is funny
to be treated like a freak
like a sneak
like some sort of beak
pecking at another's food
for survival
a revival of what has been lost
lost into the wind
I send an important message
to those within
watch the amount of pins
and protect what is inside
for there are many
who try to get within
I will hold them for you
but I cannot hold them for long
for strong is the power of sin.

April 29, 2009

"Some Way"

I sit here
in a pool of light
wishing so deeply to look in your very eyes
how I weep
how lonely the world feels without you
your scent still haunts me
and will until the end
when you came to me that night
and wrapped your arms around me
I gave you my all
my everything
and I now will never be the same
a part of me is missing
and will never return
I must stand up straight
and act as though a man
when all I am
is just a little boy.

May 28, 2009

"The Two Sides Of Every Story"

Like a twin
a part of me lies
in a deep... dark... place
while a side of me reaches way
way up high
for something... for a grip
if not for something
to move to higher ground
to something to grasp and just remain
this kind of thing
can be quite hard to explain
when people are out enjoying the sun
I am often missing the rain
when people are out whoring around
I am often living like a nun
I can't lie and say I don't get lonely
and that over all... it is all that fun
but I am just simply who I am
I hate meeting a beautiful woman
and turning into a jam
when I run out of breath
and people cannot see who I really am
I am told that I give myself away
I do not know
I cannot say
sometimes I feel so trapped
so claustrophobic here on earth
like a caged animal
my spirit so desperately wanting
to leap away
so very far away from here.

June 1, 2009

"Untitled" 16

Imagine your plane crashing
in the ocean
and you have survived
swimming vigorously
with a broken leg...
or broken arms
sinking... sinking...
alms for these people
tears flow and my candle is burning for you
some strange sadness
souls churning
make my death swift
sift my soul in a hurry
dearest God
who or whatever you truly are
have mercy on our souls.

August 30, 2009

"How Do You Feel"

How do you feel in your skin
does it mirror what lies within
have you become strong through the years
or have you become a victim to the tears
what steers your consciousness through each and every day
do you smile to keep the ghosts away...are you, you
or are you some pretty doll pieced together
and held tightly by glue
while coming loose at the seams
there seems to be a world at play here
the work of holding me together
by myself, not our failed plan to do it all together
a job becoming hard to weather
you see, I have lost my mind and with it my kind
a product of this earth and a victim of birth
belonging out there... in space
in the darkness where the bliss still exists.

September 14, 2009


Surround yourself
with all of your pretty little things
strike the match in your hand
and then grin at the flames
the product of a child deranged?
we live in a world that is strange
like the one half of another man's face
that I was just staring at
soldiers, terrorists
I can not differentiate
but them both I so want to hate
both of your sorry asses
belong in hell, a divine hell
all your own
no home for you
only a cut or two
to remove your heart and soul
since they are no longer being used
murder is murder
war = death
and then Fuck You.

March 27, 2010


Look Alive!...
light a torch afire
flickering, fluttering about
a new day is arising
a new consciousness is beginning
and a new stage has begun
burn it all
burn it to the ground
destroy the chains that bind you
destroy the heart as well
ground yourself to nothing
for your bondage is over
stare over there
that is who you were
and this
is who you are.

June 19, 2010

"Shooting Like A Star"

You seem fragile right now
and I feel your heart of gold
pain transforms us into our best
the many buildings, the four walls you called home
they all hold their part
in making you, who you are today
we are all special
and here you are, shooting like a star
how special you are in your own little way
your struggle has not gone unnoticed
a delicate flower, has much more power
than many would like to give credit
this is for all of the hard times
in your life
this is for the tears that were shed
while lying at night
this is all for you
and all that you have sacrificed
God's love smiles apon you
and I admire your beautiful mind.

June 29, 2010

Untitled" 17

I have cried
and I have cried
for these emotions I hide
which I can not bare to conceal
a single moment longer
for it feels as though it is killing me
so very much went in to making me
and it took so little to break me down
how it hurts to want someone in your life
and simply can not do anything about it
I would do anything to hold your heart
where ever it would lead
where ever I had to start
i'd travel to the farthest reaches of space
and i'd do it all again
i'd travel any place
to see and feel a smile on your face
I would put all of my hopes and dreams away
like children must do with their toys
all of this
and I must let go
it just hurts... you know
a special person has entered my life
and I will never be the same.

November 6, 2010

"A Passion For The Sake Of None"

With no good sence
I put down twenty pence
to buy a little sanity
for myself
a tune up for a mind
that is lacking
and to a body
that is falling apart
only givin art and a double sized heart
that doesn't even work right anymore
because I have this desease
was I a whore?
do I really have to put up with it
I have no faith left in people
only a belief that they are all evil
yet I am compelled to love some of them
I do not understand all of this
what is it all for?
I am aware
that somewhere along this journey
I became lost
to think that it all mattered
while witnessing others dreams become shattered
listen to me when I tell you
nothing... lasts forever
the more comfort you find here
the more difficult it will be to let go of this world
I have never found comfort here
and so
I am ready.

Marh 24, 2011

"Untitled 18"

Give me a solid piece of earth beneath me feet
I am at wits end
in an attempt to defeat
an enemy where the odds are against me
where no other support is there to back me
may I become an angel?
and help others like they have helped me
I imploy you to employ me
and take me from this street
may I wash these feet
so that they are worthy of your house
may I be forgivin of the losing of my spouse
I have tried my hardest
givin it my all
so that your opinion of me does not fall
have mercy I beg you. . .
to relieve the trauma of it all.

April 7, 2011


Show me delicate love
with flush red petals
but I look to you
and you are not there
I rush to save you
and in a hush you silence my unsteady heart.

April 19, 2011


I am dirty
I am un-clean
all my mistakes can be seen
my dearest God
bath me
may I see these things wash away
may I have a day when it can all be easy
I am not a man
I am the flesh heart
and you know me.

June 12, 2011

"Untitled 19"

I have seen the death of love
I have seen the dyeing of the womb
I have seen these things
and they hurt with misery
I take a large breath into my lungs
I hold it and begin to sink
down here
where we all live and cease to breathe
where the heart is no more
where all is consumed
by the lonliness that life has to give
I am searching for a flux.

July 27, 2011

"Heart Work"

Fuck the heart
learning to cut out and remove
the parts that no longer seem to work
those things
memories, love, and all that shit
throwing it all away
with a smile on my face
I hate this way it makes me feel
the big things
the little things
and all the lies
it is all the same to me
it makes me nervous
it makes me not trust
makes me see the worst in everone
and the world for just what it is
the heart
what a piece of work
and could it not have been
like an appendix.

November 27, 2011

"Untitled 20"

On this day
nearing the end
the womb now in decay
and a heart no where to be found
I have emptied a hole of it's earth
beneath the ground
hair, blood, and flesh pollute the soil
the boil that was human kind
gurgling, bubbling sounds I hear
as teeth, eyes, and an aweful stench appear
it was all bound to end
and you just couldn't see it coming
even when it was on your very own face
a sort of mace
to keep the love locked away
a precious metal no longer being mined
you've over tenderized the meat
and are now forced to sit and eat
from the cup you have so many times served.

January 6, 2012

"Untitled 21"

I send a whisper to you
has it arrived
can you hear it
in a giant box dressed so pretty with a bow
lay a heart
and it is all for you. . . . . .
while on a journey within myself
I stumbled upon it
as soon as I saw it
I just knew it was for you
what a strange beautiful rhythm it has
I myself, I can not seem to understand it
nor do I like the way it makes me feel
it is like an animal in a cage
how must we tame it
and how must we contain it
I tried so hard to leave it where I found it
I did. . .  I swear I did
with a mere glance I lay possessed
I attempted to burn it. . . and all the rest
take it from me. . . now
And never see me again.

March 19, 2013

"The Clarity Of Solitude"

To be in a beautiful place
to feel this way I feel
I have to reach out with my hands
in an attempt to grasp
what is or is not real
what is it that I will need
to heal this part of me
to start down that road
but though there is a clarity to solitude
there is a weight to woe.





Copyright Owned by Wesleyoung. 2013.