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WesleyYoung

Wesley Paul Young
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February 2, 2000 "Inxs" It came in like a hurricane I cling to an image carnage overpopulated planet yet they desire to clone every inhabitant. July 2, 2000 "A Small Moment In Time" A mind a time for peace a release from these ways I wanted the predator to stay I grew stranger to be more than just a prey but a prayer a layer you didn't see a grief inside a homicide of the tow hearts an act of being apart we could only decide on one answer a majority enhancer a substantial retreat a feeling not quite so sweet like the love I felt inside emotions I could not seem to hide a pride that I could sacrifice as these cubes of ice begin to melt I will continue to feel the feelings that I so often felt I seem to have been dealt the wrong hand. August 3, 2000 "Today" She turns to me and smiles as I turned to her and smiled I could almost notice the miles that we were away away from that same world that we two walked each day no one else could make me feel that same way those sunny days we would sit and those cool nights we would lay I would have done almost anything just to get you to stay I know it all seems crazy but no one else makes me feel quite this way there will come a time and there will come a day that, that passion we feel for each other may crumble and fall away but I will always hold close and remember that flame we caught and lit on that sunny pathetic day and I will always remember that no one else could have made me feel so bitter... this way. December 2, 2000 "Chips On Their Shoulders" This seed this creed a religion based on greed power trip your grip slips A whole existence tipped upside down down in the skin of a wrist a chip a power trip control patrol your freedom tipped upside down apocalypse eclipse your soul torn out. January 25, 2001 "Some Plan" Our minds and our lives they have seen a lot some plot for this man some plan at least could have banned him from here couldn't have mankind had a better deal will... will we ever grieve a need indeed we all breed in different ways I feel we'll all feel this comfort someday. April 20, 2001 "The Thorn" Energy I will become from his body I am grown twisted and burning inside from the soul dealt and worn whelped and scorned and these, these are my horns God, please help me but careful I am the thorn you cannot love the rose unless you can respect the thorn I mean I never asked to be born. March 1, 2002. Birth: Lilith Isis Omega Young. April 20, 2002 "Iniquity" I once was real but in a need to heal I slipped away far away from here far below hell where no yell could save me we all try... don't we to play this fucked up game but think back way back I just can't remember asking to play to be born of an alcoholic, child molesting father and a mother of adultery I just can't remember when the dice directed me to witness all of this death and this breath of life doesn't smell like freedom how can nothing feel so much like something dying forever, only a tear will accompany me here below hell. April 23, 2002 "Dearest ........." I am not who you thought I would be I only wish I could have told... you that first that you were just not like me I am different than you but I guess in the end your simplicity will leave you happy leaving me to mend yes, I do tend to hate you and yes, I hurt to, lust like you doesn't that make you happy? and now, I am not there for you to be mad at and that makes me so very happy I will miss you you will hate me God, please bless us both goodbye amen the end. August 1, 2002 "Into The Hating Of Hearts" What kind of man could one had thought I was and to not understand me yet witness and be flattered by these images from my hand a vow of love and anger a lie and a turning of backs leaving me alone and here I stand hating these facts where the mind is rotting my soul and a heart that is beautified by a crack I will never understand this thing called love thank God for death. September 2, 2002 "Clouded Amber" Here I sit so wanting and waiting for a return that I will not get a feeling I have learned to be weary of yet a response inside me that will not allow me to forget how tragic a heart can be when it can be so easy for someone to forget you and me and how hard it is to just live and breathe when feeling this way and in a need for one last piece of advice now how must I get myself to sleep. September 29, 2002 "When The Sky Had Opened" The moment of clarity came and for just a time our lives opened our hearts to a thing called love and we became more than just a product of these United States and then the sky opened where the light cleansed my eyes and I could clearly see the world that I was in where the flesh is rotting our souls. November 25, 2002 "A Giving Of Thanks" There are friends we pass and there are friends we leave but it makes no damn since to me why we sometimes play the way we do why we take on some days and give on others despite our struggles we are human and we make no damn since to me here without an answer gone without a reason and here I am alone and freezing so what must I do will I ever find you? just what must I do? to locate you the answer to this question I mean we look and we search high atop mountains we perch across oceans where nothing supports our feet as a caravan with a blinded fleet this answer lies within our hearts that place which conceives our art from which we think we understand well look no further my friend for love life and you shall love to live there our meaning comes clear so wipe away your tears and our struggle will begin to end. December 7, 2002 "Big People Forget" Finding what we are is knowing what we were and I liked me less than you did actions that cannot change but things I will leave behind me I will forget no one and I will be forgotten the writhe... it has begun and writhe I will remain even in hells fire my love for you cannot be changed through us all, I am not the same we are all so alone and delicate when we are hurled into this world and oh... how big we think we get but we must never forget the power of our innocence as a child and yet how small we really are... today. December 18, 2002 "Pixel" The pixels soon become the eye all seeing , all knowing the callous of life reins down a part of us will perish the spoiling of the phallic and the womb I wince and I weep as we orbit this piece of the galaxy pungent we are in this reality we have created and I have become so jaded jagged is the blade of our swords as we walk them excitingly as though Jacobs ladder like nothing really matters...forever we rape ourselves then we look in the mirrors with smiles we must then... have deserved this. December 20, 2002 "Entering An Atmosphere" A star that got lost on its long journey home where the sun did not rise a single heart beat alone accented it's moan for love... a tragic shine from within his cell some type of hell within him quite a large blaze that arose from his gaze when loneliness began smothering the flame a lot like something like rain looking out of his vessel his mind painted pictures of the times he had once thought was real the time when he ran so far up the hill to grasp the young hand of a soul with his will only falling way down so hard to the ground with a lingering chill, he thought he had found a world not round a place where things did not change onward he screams to no one it seems loud down the hall to a god that is silent for some type of help at mending his seams things are never... what they seem with this he learns to let in a smile so that a beginning of an end can become of this trial with so little miles left ahead of him This landing marked by violent motion not completed or perfected has built a new vessel... and on a beautiful sun risen day he will aboard his ship and sail away. January 1, 2003 "Two Thousand And Three" On 2003 this is not a berceuse for I am bereaved and hurting from a loved one who sees what is becoming of me of this flesh and this heartache it is so hard to be this man that this world is expecting me to be such a challenge... for someone who wasn't meant to be but I will be me and that you will see that I can love just like you thought I could not and with your hatred I’ll tie a new knot for someone like you... ? need a challenge? January 10. 2003 "To Love You Without You" Everyone hates me and I love them for that a reason to hate me and I respect them for that a real... tender heart like mine a distraught manner in a way of understanding a way of equality a love for you I respect that I love you girl I miss you and I miss that... way you would kiss me that way you would hold me that way you told me that this was forever and that it was over that understanding that you had enough a tuff... goodbye and rough goodbyes I have become used to I don't hate you because we are a part of each other and I will struggle to love you without you in a jungle where I am renewed where I fall in love with shadows.


March 13, 2003

"A Moment Of Silence" Look... look... way down where some people go as the sins piled up and the flame it grows and grows sometimes you just feel so tired and you can't wait just to go... to sleep deep into the nothingness the place where peace and rest are found the run, it begins in desperate need a struggle that thins within the burning of the knees which I so often try to repent on the thieves and their caravan recede a growth and two little girls that light up my life a touch to a soul that is so... very old inside I will try and then I will try harder to light up those beautiful blue eyes nothing else could make me this high does anyone out there see what is around you? don't you see the grey that replaces the color when those faces become passionate less bloodless... lifeless... and then we must rebegin does anyone hear the terror in an animal's screams? not the seams that create the canvas of those who consider themselves righteous and set themselves aside... we all hide from death we must reach back... way back from the light which we are from that simple flicker that simple wind that affects us we are all linked to one another this mother earth this father of us and our daily bread no one ever said or wrote that it was easy to live if we could march to the heart as we do to the beat of the drums of war I would give myself up just to know that you are ok. December 31, 2003 "A Fable For Lilith" Those beautiful wind chimes in the wind those beautiful endings in the end the jump of the heart in your chest it makes the rest of those worries go away a rainy day in Norway no way can you leave this in only a minor way could I imagine this because I have never been there but the end I’ve never been there either on my way a single letter can change a word a single word can change a letter and words my dear girl are so powerful an original signal in a world of mass production absinthe of reality I look back and I miss you little Lilith touch this tone my dear girl and know that I love you. October 9, 2004 "The Rest Of Your Life" I look at you and I see myself I stare at what we are and I fear myself I run from you and I hide from myself I scream in horror and in mirrors... I see myself hiding is hard for the rest of your life a child is like a robot they only want to believe in themselves life sure asks a lot and yet leaves Camelot waiting at the finish line only wasted away for tears all these years to find that dreams are not real all these years to try and understand how to be or feel and I still haven't figured this out this way we rub each other out. January 5, 2005 "Untitled" 2 It is hard knowing you have lost your soul mate and no matter what you say or do or how hard you try it's just to late to turn back the hands of time I cry and I suffer slowly dying from a broken heart just what kind of a thing is love these days when it's the death of the only part of us that we seemed to share together oh, how ignorant we were to not have let go of those things that meant nothing slowly dying because half of me is missing those feelings that flow through your body not when making love but only kissing why could we not have reconciled for us, ......, and our new born child I am slowly dying of a broken heart and still what is this part that just will not let me let go this I feel I may never know but that must be love. March 3, 2005 "Dearest Mother" There is in no way any other that could replace you we are all close with our sisters and our brothers but never could something come so close to eyes full of tears from just a picture of your mother a love that is by far unique a feeling where descriptive words remain bleak from an innocent child to a thief and a sneak and back again her heart only hurts but it never turns its back but only tries to lend a hand you have touched my life and were so unselfish to have created it I could never have had a greater example yet only I was allowed to sample and witness greatness in this woman if ever there was an omen sent to me it was here in the footsteps of my mother I will always love you. March 15, 2005 "Just One Last Goodbye From The Heart" I draw pictures... thinking of you I create music... about you I gaze at beautiful things and I wonder just how you would see them through your eyes... like being in love with a ghost a void that can never be filled like a kid again hot off the heels of love I paint pretty pictures and smiles for you because I know that is how you would like it all of this on fond memories but at night at bedtime... sometimes all alone this little boy cries for those he misses. April 11, 2005 "Isis" In this world of so much hidden I find myself getting lost in the great mystery but in soul and in the world to come I will look down upon you like a giant tree and see the light in your eyes and you will light up my heart with love through this I will live forever through this I hope that always in some form or manner a part of us will remain together forever... I love you. May 10, 2005 "Untitled" 3 Days like these these emotions giving me the power for motion to cross all oceans I just get freaking pissed I missed the good emotions when they were passed out but this is no reason to count me out I'll put out... all the amps you need like knocking the brains out of a crack head I just can't stand them worthless trash like a blackhead on the ass of life but I'm trying I'm trying to be better whether or not it works we'll just have to weather two faced son of a bitches blah, blah, blah, blah nothing but shit escapes their mouths I have sincerely no doubt that my nose itches stitches maybe? yes, but that's not the way I like to win death is the great equalizer faith, the great provider life.... the great divider so as the recluse I simply must reduce the weight of my anchor in this world I hate what we have become and I am tortured by demons. May 26, 2005 "Untitled" 4 This world is such a place I gaze at an image and shed a grin how long then has it been since this moment in time was frozen what time has passed since this all came to be I was swimming in a stream everything felt so unnatural something... like a dream but my feelings unlike the dream, were quite sharp the sky grew very dark however, focusing my view of the stars what time has passed? since our first landing... here on earth I have shed my skin I have become I will stretch my wings to create a giant shadow to hasten the light in my eyes a start, a new beginning a metamorphosis a surrender. May 31, 2005 "Untitled" 5 I am happy I am ok I am rounding 28 I am young I feel I smile I get lonely I get anxious I am a widow I am an old grouch I am a ghost I am surreal but I am for real I have hurt people I have made people happy I have two little girls Lilith Jade I miss them I live for them I don't know why else I’d live here and now in this shit hole surrounded by these assholes I am crazy I am sometimes a little lazy I like TV a little I create things I have destroyed things God thought me out very well I mean, imagine me president I'd scare myself I like cats I like mountains I like rivers they give me comfort but nothing like the comfort of the hole I live in I am a recluse I don't understand people's modern motives I can't grasp my world now when it is so quickly being destroyed around me I smile I like rain I wish it could cleanse all the mistakes that I ...have made I am eccentric small things mean a lot to me it is happening will you be there? without eye movement the body would seem so hollow without difference a heart can seem dead without an opened mind! are we? sometimes I love this world I have been blessed may the orange and purple leaves shower upon me I am dying but after all, I am only human. July 22, 2005 "Collapse" Oh... Dear God the misery and the woe I do not know if I will survive this one from the large lump in my throat to the helpless feelings inside it's just getting to damn hard to hide if I had the courage I’d rip these insides out a dizzy, nauseous stench consumes me and I just may not have the courage to save me... ... this time. May 1, 2007 "Show Me a Sign" I am selfish because I am lost? and cannot find my way? what words do I have to use to say I love you what words do I have to say to lead you back to me why must I wait when I long for you why must I hesitate to create a world just for you must I say goodbye to the kisses and the whispers nibble on my ear and send ecstasy down my spine our hearts entwined I still release a message in a bottle and long that one day it will find you please... please find me. June 3, 2007 "Ghost" I see you watching... following me from room to room when I look up upon the sun and see the son I know I am staring you directly in the eyes you are right next to me during my most intimate of moments you stand there and laugh... mocking me when I am lonely and crying for someone to hold I cannot see you but I know you are there when I hide in my most secret of places I see you have already found me I see you watching...waiting for me as clocks tick as time moves forward as others die and fall around me as memories fade away from me I know I am staring you directly in the eyes you are right next to me others do not but I see you only I am grinning back undercurrent. June 12, 2007 "The Misshapen Circle" Or "The Origin Of The Heart" A shape of what once was perfect time has misshapen you and left you untrue a circle in writhe just where does the heart reside? where do you hide within us thirty years I have spent in and out of your grasp only left gasping for a most needed breath what so pushed down at your center north so pulled at your south pole and how does this create holes within us are you the nausea when I am scarred are you the desire when I lust do you not let me let go of those I still relive moments with are you the rage, are you the helplessness and why do I still love all of you the heart has destroyed me and has built me back up again to see the wonders of life to experience the beauty of suffering learning to master something I never asked for the locust plague roses one horseman now rides among us but much is left to be done and all from histories desires of the heart. June 16, 2007 "Overcome" I pour out my soul for the world to see my world my own being all that I was all that I am and all that I will be I just want you to see why I love you all so very much it hurts to watch you fade away it tears my stomach into to let you go I just did not know what else I could do my heart hurts for the world and all of its people I wish I could take it all away and feed you comfort you give you the rest that you long for I had to shut the door upon you I am so sorry I just cannot see you suffer I in my world tainted... polluted a blister on the lips of cupid all that I was all that I am and all that I will be I long to take you home. June 22, 2007 "Sounding" I walked away from home warm blankets the shimmer of light dancing from the fire I walked away purpose, thought, compassion love, expression where the parts come together and meet weighed against a feather I respect a woman in a veil one who hides their secret precious soul in purity eyes no longer feeding lust a lotus, a poppy man is an animal and hell is here and now but then a cello a violin, a clarinet all these things begin to sing to me and my feelings focus we all are a part of each other and this seal I hold in my hand is now broken... I hear a trumpet sound. June 24, 2007 "Written In Stone" All the lights are out darkness that is black so black it has produced a shine coming from the light suffering in my soul the whole world asleep within the ground completely no sounds except the ones in my ear not used to not being able to hear the earth barren now an entire desert a place of mourning where have all the whales gone I cannot hear them singing to me where are all of the trees the sounds of the wind blowing through the leaves where have the living went to and why have I been left behind I tried to be good I really never meant to hurt anyone I still remember the sun, the moon and the stars even though they are gone I still feel the wounds now replaced by the scars I was meant to be all alone it was written in stone I remember reading it in a near death experience I will remember you all... forever I love you and take care. June 28, 2007 "Take Your Next Right" Life has no pain when there is nothing to lose hit cruise wait for the fork in the road life is a commode so take your right right choice, wrong answer you just may be infected with cancer Santa, Satan all these deities the Easter bunny!? what the fuck?! this town needs an enema. July 2, 2007 "Complete Nothing" I am a complete nothing and I have accomplished just that all of this you see all of this you hear you cannot feel and so it means nothing worthless... pointless even created from nothing. July 11, 2007 "Elegy" Goodbyes yet still I hold you close to me to my hole that once contained my heart my soul I love you with all of this part of me that remains I cannot begin to begin letting go of what remains my outer shell is dying and I cannot seem to slough what must one do when preparing for this fall take a hand or take a foot but never walk a day in my shoes I choose or have chosen to lose the love of those around me I let go while they still loved me so I would never let you down or ever let you go for there is something about me that you simply have to know you will never see me again. July 12, 2007 "Untitled" 6 Why do I hide so much inside velvet red petals the beauty of insignificance soft blue aroma smoke of a kettle indifference the fragrance of pleasure your eyes capture me A storm is coming desire flesh the sun falls and then so the moon rises will another heart capture me with just a smile sink its teeth into me the mystery of your beautiful heart charges me the way you smiled and looked away an arrow to the heart. July 12, 2007 "Compassion" I dream of another world another place a space for you and I to not exist a place with no time where feelings are not allowed and mystery shroud each and every one of us where no one is special but everyone is welcome a place of no questions where somethingness does not exist and nothingness sometimes leaves me pissed a place where there is nothing I feel the need to resist a fist raised where no flag or race separate us where we all come together as one a single sphere a circle a sun where we all run on a single heartbeat where no one lost and everyone won. July 18, 2007 "History Repeats Itself" A celebration in life a celebration in death we spend our life running hiding from that day yet as soon as we are born we are dying stop crying for their leaving and celebrate their becoming we hold on to too many things here idols all around us pull the wool from your eyes and take a real look at what is around you and a good look at just who and what you really are learn from the scars because soon this time of ours will simply be history. July 31, 2007 "The Arrival" Doomed... destined to destroy myself sometimes I am a monster inside huge and insane an entire race of rage inside of me evil spirits dance around me chanting hateful things cursing me doing immoral things ugly things there is a beauty to insanity but oh how it hurts inside of me and oh how I grow so tired of the burden I hold the black sun upon my back the arrival. August 6 ,2007 "Grant Me A Place" My fingers glide across your lips as love slips within us a heavy breath fingertips kiss me, kiss me with your lips open your heart for me grant me a place for this mind to rest I lay my heavy head upon your breast in your arms I nestle no longer needing to wrestle with the world around me does anyone have that someone this day in time and if so why can I not find an unconditional heart. August 8, 2007 '"A World At Play" A world at play yet a world away here I am sitting spitting shinning my shoes sharpening my smile just a few miles left of this world that has kept so much from me filigree hates and worries cleaning right off I'll be getting off at the next stop please but of course the world will tease me and offer me treats to distract my wary mind to change the direction of these feet but I have become strong and calloused all those years of misery all those years of woe I learned to hang on but now I can let go and who really knows just where this spirit will go well I know I have seen it I have been there I know. August 14, 2007 "The Fallen" My dearest father I come to you with a heavy heart and I come to you with a heavy head like being and thinking like those around me but instead I am so different my feelings so intense yet I cannot grasp the most simple of things although I like being alone I so very miss each and every one of you I cannot change what I may have said and I cannot change what I may have done but I ask you all to forgive me for being my father's son. August 22, 2007 "Sixth Sense" One black bird one black hare one dark view one cold stare two full feet the length of two hands two full arms two legs stand three whole lives three times failed tried three other occasions three sets of stairs four destinations four lost directions four good attempts at mind dissection five whole years five worlds away I reach out to five hearts and five hearts run astray sixth sense. August 27, 2007 "Untitled" 7 A long time coming a wait to hesitate would cancel out fate art perfectly executed slain in the name of its father me and I am no one just another man's son a pun... in a black place a candle is burning and the light of that candle is the light of my spirit clumsily I waste away. August 30, 2007 "The Curse Of Man" Oh father of waters I hear your call and I respond I escape the bondage of this modern culture of death I come to you God's beauty has blessed your soils and forests we cut into the earth's flesh with our roads we pound its body we cover its breathing with our concrete I will not retreat from pulling down this flag that stands in your way of peace oh father time oh mother earth forgive us of our ignorance forgive me in my rebellion a bit of hell rests within me and I aim to expel it I just tell it like it is your spirit lives on and when I am gone who will fight to save you... no one the curse of man. September 11, 2007 "Where The Innocence was Lost" Life is a funny thing no other such a game has ever been nor ever will be stripped of my seed left to suffer for such little deeds where here does a balance begin what is tucked away deep within us that makes us do the things we do say the things we say what of the feelings when I find myself missing you all what of it all... really when we are dead and gone did it ever mean anything at all? or did we learn this one day at recess one day out at play where the innocence became lost and the lust began our wasting away. September 18, 2007 "One And The Same" Time has transformed me changed me the direction of my heart my art consumes me a simple reflection of days that have passed I will never grasp again but will never forget what I once was nor where I am from and the time you all existed within my heart a dissection of my art one and the same I tried to tame my love for you but... to no avail I miss you all. September 18, 2007 "Right?" I am so very pleased to meet you I have been so eager to greet you in this over emotional way that I have become so good at a way that opens myself and prepares for the sound of bombs hitting the ground getting the world prepared for me I wouldn't want to shock anyone whilst you are having your fun but not everyone is quite like you in fact we have nothing in common a common mistake these days right? September 19, 2007 "'Falsetto" Life is a journey a spirit yearning for its freedom from this body of flesh sometimes I get tired and sometimes I feel so alone the feelings of loss missing from home all the miles I have flown yet here I am just a man sometimes feeling like a little boy a toy for those around me... well, didn't I fit the part did my creations, my art take you to where it was that you wanted to go I am not an angel I am not special I am nothing and that somehow makes me feel like something just know you are with me where ever it is that I go. October 22, 2007 "Untitled" 8 My heart a pulse... my rhythm sentimental something's perforating into being when listening my eyes are seeing a place not of this world yes my world is right here my thought propels but no one steers just in for the ride and I have nothing to hide but beware I am my own worst enemy. October 24, 2007 "Rain From The Heavens" Today there was rain... rain from the heavens the wind pushing upon the bamboo chiming out a tune clouds rolling over the grassy hills our giant friends today everything natural has a spirit and oh, how we must embrace it but what do I know? I am alien here. October 25, 2007 "Touch" To touch, so very much runs through me to touch to hold to feel what else makes one feel more real I remember your tender lips to hold your hips to not hide oh, how your kiss made me feel warm and crazy inside your flesh with its feel and its smell how it felt so good how it hurt so bad how it put me through this sort of hell I can no longer seem to tell where it is that I am going I am embedding my feelings in cold steel in an attempt to seal out the bad and in doing all this I am making others sad within a sphere in time and space I will walk away from this place I will conquer fear oh, dear little angel I see your precious smile and simply cannot hold back the tears. October 29, 2007 "Fall away" When I have used every word when I repeat myself over and over again when I exhaust myself with my own self what then... to awake in the morning and do it all again there are moments where the line I walk begins to thin I kind of just smile...and give a grin when within, I am crying some sort of slow dying a process where something is prying to get in... or out I am the great mystery, the great nothing my work is witness to our behavior I await our savior where all time will fall away and I will show him these things the lust, desire, and greed the animals we have abused where our wants became our needs how humanity became almost obsolete where everything sacred became relics beneath our feet where self-respect had no meaning or value a time when the human body is nothing more than just a piece of meat. November 1, 2007 "To Not Feel Human" Burn myself to smell the skin the cross that I am branding for dispelling the sin I am up over and around the bend an excuse whatever makes me feel not like a man (human) why because I can. November 14, 2007 "Untitled" 9 I stand before a field of many and a glow alights among the darkness of night a lotus blossom smiles at my grinning face the first time for a feel of comfort of someone within my inner space an innocence through pain and suffering here I float in a thought that I ought not but it makes me truly happy and you my beautiful lotus how you shimmer under the moon and the stars I may never be by your side but please allow me to sigh for the relief I receive from the honesty of your mind you are the first I have seen of our kind. November 15, 2007 "Without Words" I write this letter to you but not for you I mean...not for your eyes but for your heart I have never had a thing to give but my art which is merely a fraction a small part of this huge emotion inside I would love to hide me but my common sense is beside me I hurt inside my heart and I will never find the parts that have left me empty I will never see you I will never hold you but that... is all ok just as long as we may laugh and talk and stir that spirit inside me thank you. November 26, 2007 "The Smell Of Sweet Little Memories" I am reaching for the sky nothing there, I need to hide eyes wide come for me I spread my wings.. begin to fly lift me raise me up beyond the clouds shroud me with your wonder as we plunder space and time my face is only a mask and my mask is only nothing it is deep within my heart whatever that is? Where I hold my sweet little somethings. December 5, 2007 "A Myth" I've become so very tired so very hardened my everything expired my mind well, he's been retired pass me the screwdriver and that pair of pliers I’ll tighten those loose screws and bolts add a few volts and I'll be ready to go I just don't know how much longer this heart is going to hold together I so hope so I long to fall in love the myth... you know. December 10, 2007 "A Tree For Thee" I have painted a tree for thee and oh, how beautiful it has risen to be reds, and gold's, and all I so hope that you will like it and ponder upon hanging it upon your wall an honor it would be so that a part of me can exist, within your world I think of a fountain and a tree. December 29, 2007 "Pouring Pigments" God is feeding me and with an appetite I do eat when he no longer feeds me I will lie back and sleep as he commands awaiting his call for then I will awake with a wealth of color and paint heaven and all. January 7, 2009 "Untitled" 10 The things we do and the things we say I am quite unsure why we act this way a bit like night and day a sadness...or a madness in a world so hard to show an act of kindness leaving me with a blank expression a blindness that I do not see myself ...conquering a time when an act of giving is taken as an act of receiving a place where common sense becomes vague a type of emotional plague that is sure to bring me down isn't there a new, different sort of town where I may hang my hat where I may rest my heavy head a place where I can fall asleep the moment I hit the bed a moment in time that can be all mine a place where feelings do not die but live on forever an image that defies all time. January 31, 2008 "Within Myself" The war being fought within myself a short shelf life a series of events and not a single bit of hints have made a bit of sense to me I endure and I hold back I do all that I can to keep this engine on its tracks and despite all of the facts none of you ever really knew me because I didn't even know myself a short shelf life... but just a reminder I figured it all out. February 17, 2008 "A True Story" Something very old very dark...very evil exists deep within me it tugs at my hope and it sneers with all of my laughter a burden... a struggle I fight every day, a war within me there are those who do not believe in evil but I know this not to be true for it is me and it is you oh, mighty spirit of light deliver us from this darkness open our eyes to what is around us open your very heart and with your love deliver us up I will carry this burden and I will conquer it because I refuse to be enslaved. May 13, 2008 "Untitled" 11 The temple it grows and exceeds in size a pyramid of hope a blessing in disguise growth, triggered by ambition and hell... I just wanna go fishin'. May 20, 2008 "Untitled" 12 I cannot get back what I have lost I cannot hold on to what I have and I will never understand just what I am. May 29, 2008 "Reflection" I will die and I will be scared and I will float away from here bliss will catch and embrace me but here I am in a mirror and I see the things that I have done I see so much more so much clearer. June 7, 2008 "I Do Not Belong Here" I am all alone sitting here at home must everyone I know or have ever known kill others within their mind have killed someone in battle or have killed an unborn child I am not trying to make a big deal I am just trying to get out that way that I feel we have become a culture of death and to put it simply I never can seem to get a real breath I do not like it here anymore I do not like the people , the whores I do not like the stores these wars against human freedom I am ready to step away from here but just how is not yet clear I may have a touch of regret I may have an ounce of fear but just as long as my decision takes me far away from here. December 25, 2008 "Untitled" 13 I am a utensil as needed as all the rest a spork for feeding the filth to all the best a vessel for my heart whatever that is I know I care.... just prefer to do alone because I seem to not understand any of you humans I mean I wouldn't want to single anyone out you see people, sanity is in a drought and I just seem to spout ignorance to all ears that will hear me so here it is in writing here it is in words we are fucking up our world you see and that is why I have anxiety fun and highs don't take it away I don't care what you're made of I don't give a damn if you're straight or gay our consciousness has got to change there is no other way now go enjoy your gluttonous selves on this fine christmas day. March 5, 2009 "Left Behind" In a world apart it is so very hard to find a place to start to use the right words that exist within your heart oh, what I would endure oh, what I would put myself through to hold just a fraction of you within my arms to protect you from harm's way to be humbled with tears to shield you from the greatest of all fears what a woman you have become and oh, how emotionally dumb I have turned out to be now with my head upon my pillow I am finding it hard to stop I know that it is not you but all with inside of me how dumb I have turned out to be yes, live for yourself do not waste the day let no one hold you from your dreams let nothing that you want waste away for all time is precious in its own little way I search and I search for all the words that I wish I could say but upon searching and searching I cannot seem to find my way to them, to you, to me I may never see for I am blind but behind it all I hold a candle for you and for each one the wind blows out I will light another two not all for being crazy or obsessed but simply for a respect I hold for you take care... I will miss you. March 5, 2009 "Untitled" 14 What good is an unconditional heart when there is no one for it to care for when there is no one there to love I have searched all over for the answers here, there below... above the devils of fire the spirit of the dove I am losing my faith in love. March 6, 2009 "Untitled" 15 A world full of hate and love a glove that I cannot escape a hole agape chaste by that of silk and of lace I meditate upon grace for no release a heart of fleece and of feathers I long for to shield me from this terrible weather an immaculate embrace the caress of a kiss is what most I miss with arms tightly wrapped around me to stare in one's eyes and dissolve away time to step back from this terrible place without this all what do I do with this empty space through a looking glass I do stare at this ragged blonde hair and I ask myself where do I go from here? April 24, 2009 "A Temporary Retreat" It is funny to be treated like a freak like a sneak like some sort of beak pecking at another's food for survival a revival of what has been lost lost into the wind I send an important message to those within watch the amount of pins and protect what is inside for there are many who try to get within I will hold them for you but I cannot hold them for long for strong is the power of sin. April 29, 2009 "Some Way" I sit here in a pool of light wishing so deeply to look in your very eyes how I weep how lonely the world feels without you your scent still haunts me and will until the end when you came to me that night and wrapped your arms around me I gave you my all my everything and I now will never be the same a part of me is missing and will never return I must stand up straight and act as though a man when all I am is just a little boy. May 28, 2009 "The Two Sides Of Every Story" Like a twin a part of me lies in a deep... dark... place while a side of me reaches way way up high for something... for a grip if not for something to move to higher ground to something to grasp and just remain this kind of thing can be quite hard to explain when people are out enjoying the sun I am often missing the rain when people are out whoring around I am often living like a nun I can't lie and say I don't get lonely and that over all... it is all that fun but I am just simply who I am I hate meeting a beautiful woman and turning into a jam when I run out of breath and people cannot see who I really am I am told that I give myself away I do not know I cannot say sometimes I feel so trapped so claustrophobic here on earth like a caged animal my spirit so desperately wanting to leap away so very far away from here. June 1, 2009 "Untitled" 16 Imagine your plane crashing in the ocean and you have survived swimming vigorously with a broken leg... or broken arms sinking... sinking... alms for these people tears flow and my candle is burning for you some strange sadness souls churning make my death swift sift my soul in a hurry dearest God who or whatever you truly are have mercy on our souls. August 30, 2009 "How Do You Feel" How do you feel in your skin does it mirror what lies within have you become strong through the years or have you become a victim to the tears what steers your consciousness through each and every day do you smile to keep the ghosts away...are you, you or are you some pretty doll pieced together and held tightly by glue while coming loose at the seams there seems to be a world at play here the work of holding me together by myself, not our failed plan to do it all together a job becoming hard to weather you see, I have lost my mind and with it my kind a product of this earth and a victim of birth belonging out there... in space in the darkness where the bliss still exists. September 14, 2009 "Strong" Surround yourself with all of your pretty little things strike the match in your hand and then grin at the flames the product of a child deranged? we live in a world that is strange like the one half of another man's face that I was just staring at soldiers, terrorists I cannot differentiate but them both I so want to hate both of your sorry asses belong in hell, a divine hell all your own no home for you only a cut or two to remove your heart and soul since they are no longer being used murder is murder war = death and then Fuck You. March 27, 2010 "Alive" Alive! Look Alive!... awake light a torch afire flickering, fluttering about a new day is arising a new consciousness is beginning and a new stage has begun burn it all burn it to the ground destroy the chains that bind you destroy the heart as well ground yourself to nothing for your bondage is over stare over there that is who you were and this is who you are. June 19, 2010 "Shooting Like A Star" You seem fragile right now and I feel your heart of gold pain transforms us into our best the many buildings, the four walls you called home they all hold their part in making you, who you are today we are all special and here you are, shooting like a star how special you are in your own little way your struggle has not gone unnoticed a delicate flower, has much more power than many would like to give credit this is for all of the hard times in your life this is for the tears that were shed while lying at night this is all for you and all that you have sacrificed God's love smiles upon you and I admire your beautiful mind. June 29, 2010 Untitled" 17 I have cried and I have cried for these emotions I hide which I cannot bare to conceal a single moment longer for it feels as though it is killing me so very much went in to making me and it took so little to break me down how it hurts to want someone in your life and simply cannot do anything about it I would do anything to hold your heart where ever it would lead where ever I had to start i'd travel to the farthest reaches of space and i'd do it all again i'd travel any place to see and feel a smile on your face I would put all of my hopes and dreams away like children must do with their toys all of this and I must let go it just hurts... you know a special person has entered my life and I will never be the same. November 6, 2010 "A Passion For The Sake Of None" With no good since I put down twenty pence to buy a little sanity for myself a tune up for a mind that is lacking and to a body that is falling apart only given art and a double sized heart that doesn't even work right anymore because I have this disease was I a whore? do I really have to put up with it anymore? I have no faith left in people only a belief that they are all evil yet I am compelled to love some of them I do not understand all of this what is it all for? I am aware that somewhere along this journey I became lost to think that it all mattered while witnessing others dreams become shattered listen to me when I tell you nothing... lasts forever the more comfort you find here the more difficult it will be to let go of this world I have never found comfort here and so I am ready. Marh 24, 2011 "Untitled 18" Give me a solid piece of earth beneath me feet I am at wits end in an attempt to defeat an enemy where the odds are against me where no other support is there to back me may I become an angel? and help others like they have helped me I implore you to employ me and take me from this street may I wash these feet so that they are worthy of your house may I be forgiven of the losing of my spouse I have tried my hardest given it my all so that your opinion of me does not fall have mercy I beg you. . . to relieve the trauma of it all. April 7, 2011 "Hush" Show me delicate love with flush red petals but I look to you and you are not there I rush to save you every time and in a hush you silence my unsteady heart. April 19, 2011 "Water" I am dirty I am un-clean all my mistakes can be seen my dearest God bath me may I see these things wash away may I have a day when it can all be easy I am not a man I am the flesh heart and you know me. June 12, 2011 "Untitled 19" I have seen the death of love I have seen the dyeing of the womb I have seen these things and they hurt with misery I take a large breath into my lungs I hold it and begin to sink down here where we all live and cease to breathe where the heart is no more where all is consumed by the loneliness that life has to give I am searching for a flux. July 27, 2011 "Heart Work" Fuck the heart learning to cut out and remove the parts that no longer seem to work those things memories, love, and all that shit throwing it all away with a smile on my face I hate this way it makes me feel the big things the little things and all the lies it is all the same to me love... it makes me nervous it makes me not trust makes me see the worst in everone and the world for just what it is the heart what a piece of work and could it not have been like an appendix. November 27, 2011 "Untitled 20" On this day nearing the end the womb now in decay and a heart nowhere to be found I have emptied a hole of its earth beneath the ground hair, blood, and flesh pollute the soil the boil that was human kind gurgling, bubbling sounds I hear as teeth, eyes, and an awful stench appear it was all bound to end and you just couldn't see it coming even when it was on your very own face a sort of mace to keep the love locked away a precious metal no longer being mined you've over tenderized the meat and are now forced to sit and eat from the cup you have so many times served. January 6, 2012 "Untitled 21" I send a whisper to you has it arrived can you hear it in a giant box dressed so pretty with a bow lay a heart and it is all for you. . . . . . while on a journey within myself I stumbled upon it as soon as I saw it I just knew it was for you what a strange beautiful rhythm it has I myself, I cannot seem to understand it nor do I like the way it makes me feel it is like an animal in a cage how must we tame it and how must we contain it I tried so hard to leave it where I found it I did. . . I swear I did with a mere glance I lay possessed I attempted to burn it. . . and all the rest take it from me. . . now And never see me again. March 19, 2013 "The Clarity Of Solitude" To be in a beautiful place to feel this way I feel I have to reach out with my hands in an attempt to grasp what is or is not real what is it that I will need to heal this part of me to start down that road but though there is a clarity to solitude there is a weight to woe.

July 13, 2013

"World Of Wonder"

What a life

what a life

we have. . .

what a world of wonder

we build our masts

chart our course for plunder

and with the first sign of thunder

we cower to our caves

life is but an illusion

a little flesh, a little pulse

and a lot of insecurity

where does purity go to

when the heart and its innocence

have begun to fade away

what of the spirit

when the body must go the other way

my eyes, they try to see

this path where they must go

and within a fraction of a moment

of this time in which we live

I never wanted to take

yet only wanted to give

and it is because

of all these crazy emotions

that I did my best to live.

October 17, 2013

"?Love. . ?=? . . Faith?"

I had begun my journey at sea

where I could peer into the depths

and see a dark reflection of me

I realized quite quick of my minds dirty trick

to block out and push away

all those who offer me their heart

never sure just where to start

but always certain where to end

preparing to send a message in a bottle

to all those lovers and friends

with my ship, my vessel, my emotions, and pestle

I shoved off,

There is something about the moon

while floating way out here

that comforts the soul, the spirit

a filler for the holes that we have created

those emotions so cruelly exaggerated

it is said "no man is an island"

but what of the moon to the earth

what of my mind to my flesh

a push from the wind then reminds me

the impact direct from cause and effect

there simply must be a point to this thing called love

although I have never been able to find it,

Days, weeks, months go by

where I was left at the mercy of the sea

I had fought, I would plea

for all of the answers to the questions within me

while here I lay beaten and broken

as the waters had left me near death

I awoke to a vision with a gasp for breath

which struck chills deep down to the bone

and I knew at that instant that I'd never return home

in a few moments time I would strike land

never would I be the same man

as a dark black sun arose over the hill,

It's this terrible feeling deep down in my heart

that reminds me of the hue of that sun so dark

I thought to myself, what is this strange place

am I the only one to ever occupy this space

I have journeyed so far, navigated by stars

I searched the constellations, with shaman and guru I sparred

only to walk away with nothing fulfilled

all of the nothing that no one had willed

working to produce a spine in my back

not an imitation but something exact

I was not in search of a beautiful story

nor some conquest of ridiculous glory,

I was on a mission to find myself

and I had already searched every corner of this earth

was I still alive, would I get the heart to work

they say there is a universe within, well that's where I've been

way deep down with the blessings and the sins

losing a lover is like the death of a friend

having to kill them off with inside your head

learning to live without that person you care so much about

dark on the bottom of the infinite abyss

I care for you all so much more than this

one must prepare one's self. . .

for that final stretch of the journey,

All above me clapped with the sound of thunder

and the ground beneath me would tremble and quake

followed by a terrible brooding sound

of some enormous being being tossed all around

and then there it was as I laid my eyes upon it

there lay a mirror in which I could see myself on it

I could see a hideous beastly monster, just the man I that I had become

one must be careful when killing ones enemy when ones enemy may be ones self

then I understood all at once this vision I had had on this night

all of these things that have scarred me may have made me who I am today

but now I will learn to let go of it all for a renewed me to take its place

I will shed my flesh and those memories of old

to preserve myself and my love for you.

October 17, 2013

"Untitled 22"

Every time the phone rings

my heart drops

because I think it will be you

oh my God, my heart hurts

because it so deeply misses you

can you not tell me that you love me

because it is all I want to hear

could I have destroyed all this

so easy

I have said some stupid things

and I never want to say them again

you are my heart

my very best friend

and I am slowly dying here

without you

feeling as though I have lost you

I am searching for that blinking light

that beacon

that will lead me back to you.

October 24, 2013

"Like No Other"

I am just a man

another name

another number

I am just a man

born of father

born of mother

I was born a man

not the sister

but the brother

I destroy man

like a plague

like no other.

November 6, 2013

“Untitled 23”

What is it about people

what is it about me and you

that I despise so much

what is it that makes me feel this way

what makes us fuck up

lie, cheat, and steal

ruin all that is good and real

are we just so stupid

or do we just choose to ignore

I have been thinking about it all my life

and I have come to a conclusion

we are all idiots in our own little delusions

sometimes. . . I revel in it

and sometimes it makes me sick

like poking shit with a stick

I am not trying to be an ass here

I just feel like I understand all of us

oh so very clear

history bares witness to what we were

in recent times I have bared witness to what we are

and it takes no fool to know exactly where it is

we are headed

with this said

what kind of ill thoughts does one have

while pondering these words through their head

and what of me. . . Your author

I am just all one big mess I must confess

but feel a hell of a lot better

getting that load off my chest.


August 27, 2014

“Untitled 24”

There is a hole in me

where all that I care about used to be

like a lung losing it’s air

losing all the need and the care

to breathe

I have been living an illusion

a granger of delusions

feeding me what I want to see

all is not what it seems

a new feeling of dying each day

I am searching for a way to beat you

for I can not jump for you

and I need so much more than this

so I stand here in blind fold

positioned

and you may fire when ready. February 11, 2015

"Untitled 25"

Black vinyl slippery as if wet slithering alongside me... every space around me a rabbits hole where the owl rests in good company for a smoke and a wink memories of faces of that dimming revolution the leaves were orange the leaves are red when the rain comes I will lose myself and give myself to the stars I want to remember you now just like you were just like you are by the light of the moon there is a river in flow with a lifetime of images shadow play do you. . . can you remember the tolling of the bell dark clouds and haunted waves those were the days when I slipped into the well no where to be found I sounded the call a cold blue hue with a shimmering light.


December 22, 2023.

“A Constant Random”


The chaos

a pure current

direct from the destroyer

pure energy

a direct channel

straight from the creator

raising my hands to the heavens

I scream in sadness and in rage

for not much longer will I remain in this cage

teeth gnashed in madness

a mind and a heart never in tandem

a constant random

between the light and the darkness

so here is where I harken

and send out a plea

a white flag of surrender

a victory within defeat.






Copyright. Owned by Wesley Paul Young. 2024

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Summer 1993 "After Life" I walk toward a severed light No sorrow... no pain none in sight I feel happiness all around a giant golden river flows across ground my life is full of love and meaning it all feels like a new beginning Heaven. Summer 1993 "Last Breath" The Darkness it is all around cold and wet I am all but found my eyes roll my ears fill my lungs burn life slips death and one last breath emerge from my lips. August 31, 1993 "Under" Water surrounding darkness appearing I am moaning for help but no one is hearing the pressure the pain only one last breath I so wish to gain at first I was scared mentally impaired now I am alone this cold blue place I now call home. August 31, 1993 "Lost" She felt like truth she spoke only lies when we were together I could look in her eyes she made love show in her own little way but something there did not want me to stay she spoke of happiness she spoke of love but when it came to the truth push came to shove I believed the words that only she spoke why didn't I know that our bond had been broke her cold heart her empty eyes I just did not know her love was disguised I loved her dearly but I was not smart I was only blinded by her blackened heart. September 2, 1993 "Cycle" A million things can happen in one second the end of the world my life could die my soul could fly I could breathe with the trees I could run with the seas I could walk on the moon or grow with emotion I could sing with the birds I could stand with the sands I could talk with the night or in my sleep make permanent plans the world could stop turning the sun could stop burning. September 2, 1993 "The Greed Of Man" The earth flows as if water in space its precious soils and its needful life the seas and the oceans tide with the moon yet with one man it all can die we put anger before love life before death God bless our dear souls. September 3, 1993 "Revelations" The clouds roll over the rains fall predictions are it will destroy all huge hail falls to the ground the waters flow the waves roll in all people will die if they do not believe in the skies are blackened the moon blood red if you are marked guilty you will burn undead. September 7, 1993 "Gods Bloom" He speaks of wars he speaks of love it is the true word of the great one above he created all worlds he created the earth he is responsible for all including our birth because of him our souls flow our bodies grow and roses glow with such a smell when I die I will be up above in a magnificent garden god built with his love. September 7, 1993 "Last Moments" Water drips upon the street it gently runs between my feet the leaves are damp of today's rain my body lies broken yet I am feeling no pain my vision is blurred as I lie here cold and dying my body is so numb while my family sits crying I give my love to my dear friends as I take a step closer to more important plans. September 7, 1993 "I" I see now I am all and none alone and one my life walks its own little path feeling all feelings the reasons that I am living the breath of life burns through my lungs this mysterious world for which I love I do not know why I walk this earth but it was meant for me as was my birth September 8, 1993 "The People" Blue and red the people fled into their homes where they have lived and grown now they are changed discolored and strange their eyes so hollow it is them, they want you to follow their life is wrong they have grown so strong the sounds you hear erupt your ear now they are purple slender and long they doubt love yet good is still strong. September 9, 1993 "Death" Death comes like a thief in the night the first striking pain distorts all sight the pain is not that of hurt the pain is of scare it is just the thought of having beware it is the beginning like a flower in wilt after death no pain is felt. September 9, 1993 "Feelings" Words of anger words of slang puts me in agony and puts me in pain saying their better leaves me in rain their arrogance does not know that we are all the same they feed upon money which they put before people but we are all just alike under the great golden steeple their feelings are negative their love is so hollow they think everyone should be just like them and follow to them my love is crazy to them it is so cold but my love comes straight straight from god. September 9, 1993 "Shaded" Birth is first death is last my life is of darkened glass it is a little blurred and hard to see through it doesn't matter if you can as long as I do. September 10, 1993 "I Am One...I Am None" As I lay here cold and shaking all people can say is at least you are still living but they cannot feel the way I do they only see it from their point of view I lay here in pain with nothing to gain I cannot see I cannot speak I cannot hear I cannot fear machines make me breathe to prevent me from death why can I not die I have nothing left I do not know if I am alive or dead I now have no soul although, not once have I bled I have no arms in which to move only forgiveness keeps the pain soothed I cannot live for I have nothing to give I am one I am none. September 14, 1993 "Only Way Out" As I pick up the gun and think of my life and what I have done I can see no other way out as soon as I desire I want death now but it is not knocking at my door so all I can do is put my foot to the floor as I hold the gun to the side of my head I wonder if I will have wings once I am dead I think of my rights and I think of my wrongs but now I must sing just one last song Jesus loves all the little children all the little children of the world. September 14, 1993 "Puppet" It is me it is me only me I am alone, but free freedom is mine but I don't care my life is so short and I am so scared people work against me so I work alone my severed body my only home people laugh like I am not the same I am just a puppet in life with four golden strings. September 20, 1993 "My Vision" The earth is black the sky is light it is not dreams it is my inner sight I feel the warmth I feel secure I have no doubts and my soul is pure the darkness below is fire and hate some are going down they do not know their own fate as I move above I feel the love the happiness and joy from when I was a boy I love this life I love this light as I move closer I see the most beautiful sight I see the Lord and his giant heart with his arms open and spread apart he has a gleaming smile upon his face his love is so strong strong with grace as I enter his heart his love goes on now it is someone else for which I am gone. September 20, 1993 "Why" Why, why why is it this way why is my life so strange why do I hold in this rage why do I hold in this sorrow why can’t I cry why can’t I release this pain deep down inside my life is so held down life in this era has changed you cannot be free unless you have the money to be free this country doesn't care about its people any more than any other country people aren't the way they want to be they are the way others want them to be some people are just so blind drugs, money, fame, just makes us slaves, puppets slaves are held by force puppets are held by strings if only we could open our minds to release the pain trapped inside as I have released these feelings onto this paper may you know how I feel as of my love and anger. September 24, 1993 "Me" This life this pain I think I am going insane my love my anger converts into pleasure this life is so simple my mind is so complicated my work on this earth is not appreciated I must please myself as you once did my life is an auction from which you must bid I walk this path for which I have cleared I walk it in sorrow because I am feared people see me as dirt they see me as nothing my life to you is plain but to me it is something. September 27, 1993 "Your Soul" As you awake you spread your wings your life is now gone no more needful things your hair is long your body is strong there is no more pain no sin to strain I lift my head I eat the bread I drink the wine it is so divine my body is cleansed from out to within an echoing voice calls out slow little angel...little angel may I see your soul. September, 28 1993 "Release Me" This pain it is over and over again it goes on and on never needing to re begin the pain hurts twisted confusion and sorrow that I am forced to swallow my feelings are broken I have no one to tell leaving only to put me in my own private hell please let me out set me free take my feelings and let them be hold me tight and don't let go put your arms around me and let your love flow into me. September 27, 1993 "The River Of Life" It runs through me like rivers of the earth it has been with me since my birth it makes me see it makes me breath it gives me rage I am this cage it is red like fire but dark like winter it can make me grow or make me wither it is my inner love my inner needs I do not have to doubt because I believe it gives me darkness it gives me light blood is the river of life. October 1, 1993 "Set Me Free" I am a disaster I was here before I am here after the moon shines down for I am sick as I lay here among these broken sticks the falling stars catch my eye as the beautiful fire flies fly on by the dew settles down in my spread hair death no more gives me a scare I select my path under this darkened tree all the pains of this world may now set me free. October 7, 1993 "Standing Alone" I am lost I am free all you people just let me be I am not perfect I am not exact I am just standing here pushing forward back. October 13, 1993 "No One Really Knows Me" I lay here thinking of this pain I have been taken in vain I am just me I am not insane I have boundaries but I am not caged so reframe I feel I just may die soon then this pain will go no further I will leave all my love behind for a place for us that is better. October 20, 1993 "Lost Love" Pressure of love release of pain life is so... so strange when I die I will lay my weary head to rest releasing this agony of pain in my chest I will let go of this life that no one would accept if only you could have understood but now no time is left I am now gone I have accepted death I kiss these tender soils for which I'll be left you could not understand just how I lived but this God forsaken earth burned this love that I had to give I am now with someone that gives me happiness and certainty but these stains of pain from this rotating planet will stretch from here to eternity. October 27, 1993 "Follow Me" Do not hold me do not be me just follow me until the end I will show you things that you have never seen I will show you feelings that you have never felt you will experience pleasure and you will experience pain you will open your mind and let your soul free I will take you beyond this world of hate I will open your mind and lock the gates you will walk my minds path and reach my insanity only in my sorrow never in reality Do not hold me do not follow me do not be me I am the end. November 3, 1993 "Insanity" This anger inside drives me insane it opens my heart and floods me with pain my love is trapped it cannot get out just let me free for crying out loud my sorrows within leave my body through crying without releasing this love my heart is dying I will say no more for I am lost this burning insanity will tag my last cost. November 9 1993 "Second Insanity" My blood so red my insanity so black this weight of others hate puts strain on my back I shed tears of sorrow I scream bursts of anger I will live a short life on this earth although I am in no danger only one person now holds me together the name I will not speak but their love is forever. November 10, 1993 "Death As I Know It" This rage of insanity this frustration and anger this pain and horror things around me are looking more and more stranger on the edge of death and sorrow I must let myself go no one must follow I go only alone for no true reason for you it will be strange but for me this is only a new season no meaning of going my time just ran out I will just lay here dying I cannot do without no blood will spill no winter chill I will walk this line now it is all mine no more confusion no more wonder no more pain no more hunger I will close my eyes lay here and die. November 11, 1993 "Afloat" My heart is all boxed in this tiny darkened space that's ok because one day soon I will die and leave it all then I will grow these giant wings and then my heart can't fall. November 29, 1993 "The Brave" The hills all around the skies of red as the proud brave people laid there and bled our armies and government so corrupt and wrong we stole their land and burned their homes they once worked the land they once hunted the wild as too, their women give birth to a child we thought they were strange but oh we were wrong we thought they were sly but they too could cry they were too proud to give up their land so they fought for it strong always to stand they were always here and we were not we must let them be Now! we must stop. November 29, 1993 "Pain... Internal Pain" I need nothing nothing at all I need no money I need no popularity I need not impress any one person on this earth I need not have to express or show importance in my worth I do not have to show feelings I do not feel I do not have to do things that are against my own will insanity at its greatest is exactly what I am drowning in this frenzy rage all my life I've swam please someone hold me I need so bad to cry to let those tears drop free before I give up and die. December 1, 1993 "You Never Know" Some of me touches the edge of sorrow some of me touches anger to myself am I fair or to myself am I a stranger as I break down to cry and the tears roll down from my eyes I sit in confusion asking myself why, why, why I hold myself close for there is no one else there no one else to hold me no one else to care I fall to my knees needing to hold someone close but you could not be there for me when I needed you the most I cried to you that day never wanting to leave but for some reason I knew this pain would never ease I guess this little heart of mine will have to say good bye for now... I will lay my head to rest then I can smile and die. December 3,1993 "Just The Way I Feel" I guess I just sit sometimes thinking thinking of what is beyond life if it is stranger often in sight I wonder of the pain of death or if there is really any pain at all I think sometimes of how painful life can be how cruel people can be to each other and put anger and hate before love life can be so dark and depressing sometimes madness and insanity at times doubt and sorrow on others all you can do is hold yourself and cry cry to let all the pain out sometimes it helps, sometimes nothing does I guess I have had this so long that I now have a dependence I do not know how I would react or feel without it I think I would feel kind of lost I have times when I need someone to hold but sometimes expressing these feelings to others is a hard thing to do I guess there is not much you can do about it I just need to cry although I can't I have tried, but I can't. December 6, 1993 "Secret Tears" All the people around me laugh for I am withered and small as to a corner I crawl like dead stars I fall that's just me that's all. I cry to myself secret tears. December 7, 1993 "Hold Me To Free Me" Why do we love life so when it is so full of such pain we live our whole life with nothing to gain I have such strong emotions sometimes I sit and think of the loneliness the pain and the sorrow this world has to give of the nothingness, the emptiness you cannot tell anyone these feelings it seems only a woman I can tell but she would not understand me and this caged in hell I cannot let go in words I can only let go in emotions but there is no one to cry to so I hold it in notions someone please help me I ask in such pain hold me tight and don't let go as I lay here in shame If only this paper had a heartbeat. December 7, 1993 "Letting Go" With a broken heart I lay here with death in the palm of my hand I have stood here long enough no longer shall I stand my bloodied finger tips run slowly across your tender soft lips now I will die with one last kiss. December 7, 1993 "Why Not" Why not tears they release this sorrow that is trapped inside me why not monstrous anger it releases this insanity that boils within me Why Not Just Death. December 8, 1993 "Over The Sun" I guess I wonder on sometimes wondering of good and evil death and temptation it all seems strange grey and darkness all around the mysterious things to be found skies of scroll mountains collapse the world on fire nothing any longer is in my way the sky is forever alone... no one else there yet shadows of figures surround you they attack but not just with desire but with the desire of temptation they test your will and weaken your strengths pulling you to your knees they fill you with a need for pleasure and greed as they control your body you dream and vision your all desires as they rip from you your soul they take your life by hand as they lay you there to rot they search for another stand. December 15, 1993 "Smile less Clown" I am not a puppet I am a clown a clown that does not smile a clown that wears a frown because it is the only expression of the feeling that I have found and you may have noticed no make up to hide my face not a laugh or a look in the eyes for happiness there was not a trace. January 5, 1994 "Are You Willing" What is the difference the difference between you and me we both live and breathe I love, I live, and I die and the same for you rather love one or two I guess we will all open ourselves one day willingly or afraid. January 5, 1994 "It's Been A While" It has been a long while since I have thought to myself at least it is not wealth always thinking but never doing the things that are important to me the things that let me be it does not really matter what others think I am myself and no one else. January 20, 1994 "Unmarked Key" The sun falls the moon rises desires and temptations darkened surprises you feel you are blind in darkness because it scares you although insanity holds on as you want the pain soothed the longer it holds on the more you will desire the need for escape not blackened fire BEWARE!!! for he holds the key to Death. January 26, 1994 "Some Times... I Wonder" I guess it is not really death but uncertainty not really knowing just what happens it seems sometimes people look past me thinking they could never be the way I am thinking that I am so different maybe I am in appearance but I too can hurt inside me is an old soul so please... be patient not worrying about others words but others lack of love why be like everyone else why not just be yourself I wonder sometimes. January 26, 1994 "Blood Is More Than Life" What do you think of my world is it what you expected I wonder now if I should have welcomed you stopped you and mended your broken wings the blood has been drank the darkness to light you will desire my blood your cells and mine... they fight I will show you pleasures that only I can give you will mimic life but you will not live my blood is it what you expected? January 28, 1994 "Love Is Strange" Love is different it has no end among it you must depend it is hard to come by the person that is right but when you look into their eyes you will know it by sight they will be there when you fall from the highest point of hope you will climb back up their love the strongest strand of rope it will never die if you show it all your love from bottom to above people look at me and think how I am... and how I look but they are the truly blind they don't know the pride that they took you think I act like a child but I just love to see your smile I guess I should have known your love grew wings and had flown... away. February 2, 1994 "Behind Us" Hope I haven't any left why do I keep going on and on what is the point of me I see nothing I can love I see beauty but no one else sees love in me for who I am they cannot look down into my heart they just glance at the me that shows the smile but behind it all I am hurting inside trembling holding in my arms no one and I am scared. February 3, 1994 "Pieces Falling" My eyes they are not soft they are full of pain from being lost hardened to a focus lost within this world my art my words they mean nothing to others they are my feelings of pain my expressions of helplessness am I falling from life losing all of my hope I can no longer get it out I am falling to pieces. February 10, 1994 "Hard Times" I find it hard sometimes to sit back and cry to let the pain all ease and tears roll from my withered eyes it doesn't really matter anymore just how people see me how they look at my words or if they even try to see I have been hurt and I have been loved but did they mean it all was I taken by some I guess if it is all over all will go well although I have always had the key to this forever darkened cell. March 3, 1994 "The Flower Of Loneliness" I know I am a stranger for you have not known me long I am always here for you nothing can go wrong from the endless night to the endless sea do not be frightened of that lonely stranger for it is only me the dawn may set before the darkness of night no warmth to embrace you no blinding light but for the comfort of insanity I will always be there for no one else needs me and no one else cares. March 6, 1994 "Our Eyes" To you I write in a place so cold my vision so burry my eyes so bold you have spoken of my eyes and how they are different my eyes are just lost your eyes so glisten I have yet touched your eyes in the deepness of a dream in a place I only knew I only wish you have seen I try your emotion and see where you are all but every time I get close I just seem to fall. March 7, 1994 "Love Is Like A Leaf In The Wind" I just want to cry crawl up in this body of mine and sigh I do not love death but it answers my questions and holds my expressions do you no longer care for the way I feel or have I forever broken our promised seal I am so sorry now for the things I have done it was your beautiful heart I thought I had won I will close here with a life of regret I have solemnly paid my slow dying debt. March 9, 1994 "Over And Over" I am reaching for death on the palm of my hand not knowing where I fall or just where I stand as if my life were the dawn and my sanity the sun as my life goes into the darkness I am now the only one. May 9, 1994 "Good Thoughts" I am just different as you may see I am sure you sometimes wonder what is within me only a scorching coal within my stomach and stained teeth yet I get by do you see signs of a struggle on this face it is dark in here please do not leave me alone. May 12, 1994 "Another Step Taken" Life is so long and so painfully dead all that I have done and all that I have said sometimes I would sit and think life had nothing and my love had sank there I walked away from the mouth of death but as far as I got I was still in its breath I have still not moved and I am sitting here I want to die but I am so, so scared this pain cannot stop for it hits me like rain I must give up I am so completely drained. June 28, 1994 "Fare Well" my petals so dark so wilted and old as tear drops fall from my lips so cold people want change I only wish I could give as they fight for such laughter that make them forgive as I sit in memory so waiting to fall you are special to me feel it, that's all. June 30, 1994 "What A Butchered Soul I Am" What a butchered soul I am fallen and hurt again and again so trapped and lost over and over I am dropped and toast do you feel it and see it so painfully strong or am I again just wrong like tarnished green brass is this my first mistake or is it my last. July 6, 1994 "Am I Too, A Fake Hero" Sleeping heavier by day and less by night as hard as I flap my wings I am never to gain flight I am a fake hero I am burning out. July 16, 1994 "Isn't It Amazing" Isn't it amazing what this world can do with its hands paint a picture although no one can understand death and legends Monroe, Cobain is it just pain that makes them it is so, so strange rather staying together or falling apart or rather just crying to yourself thinking of nothingness or solitude or is the world just different itself standing with smiles with the sun above or lying with death on your chest in the rain medication, depression, it is only a commercial for this world is insane. August 21, 1994 "Who Always Wins" Suicide, suicide should I multiply or divide suicide, suicide open up or hide crumbling to pieces awaken, unleashes falling apart these pieces of my heart blood lust cover ups but death itself always wins. August 24, 1994 "Desperation" Comforting eyes desperation they speak deeply staring through the happiness he seeks tears of relief fall from my eyes with constant agony slowly to rise the hypnotic stare from my eyes a lifeless glare that is cold as death and as needed as breath misunderstood in every known way as a dead end fragile smile takes charge in its place. September 6, 1994 "Hurting" Sometimes I am a puppet and sometimes I am a flower since I am left off of life's strength I am losing all hope and power my eyes will burn no longer my stare so now in vain life's pain for me keeps running and took me from happiness to insane my petals so fragile and bruised my body so small inside crying my life away as it runs slowly from my eyes September 10, 1994 "People Hurt People" People hurt people and sing it in songs people hurt people but they can leave me alone I am sick of this pain it is driving me insane but I will hide it in my eyes from now until it rains the rain will never fall from the darkened parched skies for all the clouds are dry as the redness in my eyes. September 22, 1994 "The Heart Of Truth" Lost Emotion as deep as the oceans as hard to understand as the amount of desert sand it hurts from within said the tall dark man as he knew the whole truth with a heart in his hand he said do not speak for he would cause me no harm as he comforted me by his touch on my arm I held the man close crying with grief tears rolling from my eyes as for my pain... still no relief I turned to speak to the man with the heart in his hand but when I turned and looked he was nowhere to stand. October 13, 1994 "A Little Star" I stood talking to a strange man in the dark and he pointed out a shiny little star he spoke of how I could touch it and how its distance truly was not far the star was not as large as the others and its shine was not quite as bright but the feelings that poured from its dusts proved that it was more than just light tears began to drop from my eyes and I slowly fell to my bed I felt the rage and sorrows so familiar as the star still shinned above my head the star sits so quiet bothering no one or nothing or getting in the way it holds itself so high in the sky although asking for nothing in its place I knew then that the star was different and that no one else could see that the fragile little star shinning above was only a reflection of me. November 4, 1994 "This Fragile Child Of Knowledge" Missing. November 29, 1994 "Help" Which hurts more? life or death I am running from pain grasping for breath my life is so painful and my death is so sweet I would probably die if my heart skipped a beat death comes at the end of our life it will always come, slowly or fast but God always saves the best for last no one understands the aloneness of my life but all will learn before the sons great light what is happiness and why doesn't it last I so hope it soon finds me or my life may die fast. December 16, 1994 "An Orchid" There have been times in my life where I have been lost and in pain and there have been times in my life when there was nothing to gain I would sit back and hurt so wanting to cry but as much as I wanted it not a tear left my eye I know now that I am not a puppet and I know now that I am not a clown the feelings were only just a mask for it bared an eternal frown I know now that I am a flower not just of beauty and love but I am also an orchid of a garden a garden that grows from above please do not ever leave me you do not know how important you are my feelings for you may not show but feelings and contentment are never far you know just how I feel and you know how my life so hurts but as long as I have you my heart will always work December 27, 1994 "Blank" Work, work, work strive for more and more but what other people do not understand is that you are falling to the floor trying, trying never getting any happier but never mind I just do not have the time. January 2, 1995 "The Pain Of Love" Maybe my life has made new plans maybe it is really ready now for rest maybe legends do fade away maybe more peace and happiness after death how can people say my pain is not real how much more real can my eyes show it how much can people hate oh... if they could only feel this do I really need stardom or love here here you have to suffer for it if I am to become a legend I just have to die for it what if I do not need more years on my life seeing I have grown so ahead of time seeing my soul has out aged my surroundings it is so, so easy to buy time why not now why should I go on break my back for love and my love just keeps wanting I have loved so many and been love back so little how can hate be so easy to find and love so hard to come by Love is supposed to be wonderful how can something so wonderful hurt so bad it is so, so easy to say it it is so, so hard to meant it maybe I should run out of breath and maybe I should not run from death but with death so etched in my mind maybe it is just a matter of time maybe I will just give up for it would be over so, so fast for all the love I give given back it never lasts I am sick of life's pains and I am sick of its pasts leaving it all I could do it so fast how can such feelings be possible how can they live in my mind am I special or lost or is the way I feel really a crime maybe a crime in the eyes of others and maybe a gift in the eyes of emotion but I am so, so sick of it all and to leave it all, I would go much further just please love me when I am gone because you will never see eyes like these again but you will hear my sullen sighs of relief every time you feel the wind could I ever fall in love..... again. January 4, 1995 "You Help My Life Survive" Why does life have to hurt so bad will it ever go away will I ever grow out of this does this pain always have to stay why do I have to feel these pains for they hurt so very bad these pains that live in my body make me so, so sad I was born with gifts I write and I draw but do these gifts really matter like a needle in the straw I really do not know just why I do not cry maybe I just need a reason or these wings patched to fly you know you give me happiness you have such beauty in your eyes if I ever lost you my emotions would truly die the pains I have make me one and the pains I have make me stronger for all these people who have hurt me can now hurt me no longer.

January 5, 1995 "They're On Their Way Home" Days and nights sitting alone all these people have left and are on their way home they are not in danger and they are not so scared unlike me and my mind sitting still so dark and impaired. January 7, 1995 "Will It End Soon" Life is the most unknown creation the mind and its thoughts always wishing for love and wants deep depression is there do not ask me where maybe in your soul or in a darkened lost hole I am always feeling despair do you ever wonder why talents are not appreciated why our life can so hurt why pain was created rage and sorrows flow in our blood even since the people were caught in the flood I am even sorry for hurting and I am sorry for not being happy but you cannot control the uncontrollable like countless people laughing it hurts, it hurts could it get any worse or should I just let go to the world below below are the people whose put me in pain eaten on my mind and driven me insane the winds blow hard on this chilly day getting away from these pains there must be a way dark dampened tears sway in my eye these pains in my heart somehow must die. January 10, 1995 "Your Dreams" The nights you think you are all alone there are dreams in heart and dreams of home dreams of love and dreams of flowers dreams of all our most desires you will find some days there is pain in life and there are days to come when you will be ready just hold on to your dreams for the dreams are pure your hearts desires no one's but yours if only I am truly there in your dreams like you say it is people like you that keep me alive and with people like you I will stay. January 12, 1995 "Stained" Being different can be good but being different can hurt feeling so, so alone like you are the only one on earth emotions are just so painful once you have tasted depression it is there forever it is like a debt never to be paid you are like an untouched child of sin but once it all begins it will grow to you like rust do you see the darkened red dust it is rage, sorrow and anger boxed in this little box called your mind once it is there it is there until the end of time if you try to solve it it will drive you insane it just has to be forgotten the sorrows and the pains if people like me knew how to give up we would have done it long ago but we keep on striving for something that hopefully one day I am sure to know January 24, 1995 "Thrall" Moist chilling air confusion in the eyes emotion so lost deadened skin why the pains we feel they fight like an army do I understand dark feelings deep within my heart yes I can sometimes to never walk away escape the enslavement desires of what isn't known so, so sorry for finding the pain it's really as fun as it seems drop the candy and drop the lies drop the fear and look in my eyes like a hand so scarred and a locked lock with no key touching souls when you are in love but you know it is not there everyday like a desire with sickness cold and frail shivering and holding myself in pain rooms spinning nothing is really there to stay. January 27, 1995 "I Am A Failure" I am a failure full of remorse and regret like giving things away things that were meant to stay... with me emotions that cling and heavy as steel all these pains floating at the top superstars and shooting stars just what I don't want to be like giving love away love that was meant to stay... with me a street paved in rain skin with skin within DNA structured with pain rotting away the happiness missed are we all driving ourselves insane not the shine but the shadow of gold much more beautiful than its shine light like the lamp of the sun man made from the hands of man we are making all of these excuses inventions made homemade just sit under this tree of life and sleep in its river of shade February 6, 1995 "Maybe Happiness Never Ending" It is a race to expose these feelings in me down, down and slowly slowly consumed by me from sun up to sun down I am so sick of the vertigo of addition from within me you know what I am made of I am made of ice and snow melting through this paper of hurt slowly leaving the pain the face of glowing more glowing more not bought in any other store no other store but mine the emotions deeper than oceans and its meaning so divine years ago today was the day I felt the pain these days that go on and on these days that are here to stay standing here holding on to nothing or no one the tides that go on and on someone to cry to these tears of rage maybe this is happiness never ending. February 9, 1995 "Release" Maybe something good will happen someday these pains, these sorrows which path is the way as far as a star and as close as the grave keeping going, continuing running slay the sane the small numbers will survive and the larger will die close to the heavens and close to the sky go to extremes and grab the death gain the energy of your arms and end your breath sick of the confusion eyes so strange kiss my lips feel insane hold me please and touch my life make me crazy make me cry and maybe then I will become what is right release me. February 16, 1995 "I Will Always Hold You" Dark and cold my heart you stole underneath my feet the ground of old you know what you did the day you came grabbed my heart and ripped from it my soul it seemed impossible to hold on to to hold on to dreams to hold on to you but that is just what I did and what I will always do until the day of my death I will always hold you. February 21, 1995 "You Knew I Was There" You knew I was there the feelings that were the feelings of being scared the loss of love the sea above the coldness of emotion the coldness of love you see my pain that burns inside you felt the pain as it entered your mind I hold your life so close to mine I kissed your lips and you did not hide you let me in that hour of mine I will remember till the end of time. February 23, 1995 "Sorrows Of This Rainbow" Amen the call of my own I feel this sadness by yourself and not alone you are alone you low being you are alone to the end the end of time until the end of my crime suck away this pain let it fall from life the sorrows of this rainbows pain the bottom of its soul lose this beating heart of mine lose it to its whole drop to your knees until it gives up love but love cannot be lost until you let it go let it stay with your own heart until the day is gone my death, so misunderstood will you leave it in the cold will you leave it for good. March 8, 1995 "Alcohol" I am sick of my life I am so sick of my life not holding down this side of me not knowing what it means throwing away this rage of emotion throwing it to their knees I will pick you up by your hair not even feeling scared suck this pain that sits in my head until it falls down dead the cold dark skin that's down within feel it to its greatest cry at the sight of my eyes vulgar is the way do not run, do not hide do not throw it away give me now just what I am wanting do it till my death until my life kicks my miserable ass and sucks out my entire breath. March 31, 1995 "For Their Sake, Stay Awake" You know just what I am thinking just what I am feeling what my mind is seeing it sees my death not long from now how I will fade I do not know how but it is certain the beautiful flowers bloom jumping from the worlds own power I am sick of the power but so, I am living only death will stop this life of pain but as strong as I am and as long as I am still awake for others own sake I will not fade away as long as I am here you are special to me for as long as you are with me I will love you. April 11, 1995 "Failure Again" At failing I am the best always doing what is wrong better at failing than all the rest I have lost my pride today in front of earths every eye in every known way living for now and not today the end of the line dying for now and not today is this my only way you would think one day it would stop and leave my crippled body alone you would think one day I would drop is this pain ever going to stop. April 19, 1995 "Surviving The Game" Frustration there shaded under life's hair beauty lies all around me the confusion so, so deep I am maybe wrong pain is truly happiness finally the answers after so long I have searched and searched beautiful rains ahead dripping to this soft bed sleep and dream of everything if there were only no time or is there enough these pains of life they're so, so tough but here I am surviving the game and at the same time laughing insane. April 19, 1995 "Her Lips And Mine" She truly loves me I love her so not just blindness the times we have spent together oh, how they mean so much to me I have loved before but not like this she truly loves me her beauty I see down within it is her love and mine but death itself takes time. April 21, 1995 "Remembrance" This day this day of black and grey remembrance of solitude remembrance today voices of the past with echoes of laughter over and over again torched in pain. May 3, 1995 "Nothing Ever Helped Me" Laying dead in bed with stars and souls all around me starring down at me nothing ever helped me except your smile I could see it and smell it everywhere I love you and your smile this darkness has caught up I can now hardly look up drinking deathly blood from this cup I have almost given up. November 8, 1995 "My Piece Of Peace, My Crumb Of Pain" That was the night that was the day please... just go away let me suffer in pain, in peace I am the way the masterpiece can't you see my glow euphoria in my eyes please no please go... away leave me alone leave me here to stay this is my piece of peace my crumb of pain this way I beg you to remain here forever but whatever you do please do not stay. December 12, 1995 "Rustic View" These days seem to be dull in ways shaded and darkened in one thousand ways this sadness unexplainably beautiful everything is useless nothing really matters orange and violet just what can I do to grasp and hold together this rustic view oh this shattered hole within this patch-work soul like countless points of needles I am in bondage completely and whole I am the color death and not a shade of grey in my way I am dead but I am alive orange and violet leaves today. December 21, 1995 "To Hell With My Consciousness" This real day in real ways in reality that stays with me everything seems stuck to me to me it is so covered up oh, what luck I have lived to eighteen why did I make it this far this hell and scar go ahead and leave me you were never caught up in the first place go primp your face the mask of hell masquerade around the hall and I did fall to scratch my soul this butchered hole to hell with this life and its unawareness to hell with my consciousness I am so evil and wrong. February 26, 1996 "What Went Wrong With Me" I have lost these struggles for life I have lost the will to live crushing my body this body of sin no longer do I see the light no longer can I breath with ease no longer holding on ...to me I have done what I can in this machine but now I even hurt within my dreams what on earth could have went wrong with me I do not know if I even still bleed. April 7, 1996 "Just What Is This" How low can I go and how far is enough if I killed myself would it end this stuff would I keep on beating my heart to death would I keep on breathing form an accidental breath just what is this and what am I dirt, piss, or sty to hell with looking in the eyes I am sick, I am hurting, I am dying I am alive. June 3, 1996 "This Is Simply Me" In a troubled soul there's always a black hole with deep blue eyes you can smile at me but you know that day will come to say goodbye to me this is a place of emptiness and helplessness this is a soul almost motionless this is me I have seen the mistakes and its people but this is the world, the insanity and this is simply me of all the things in this world what I beg for is free just the feel of a healing tear just a heart that I may hear a single sigh but at the day of my bodies death I will have the peace that I have longed for that was made simply for me. June 24, 1996 "No One Has Done It Yet" No one has done it yet and that way no one regrets these actions taken there is an answer... somewhere why can't the door just open will my will open or close tightly behind me leaving a trail of blood so many symbols in so many ways so many voices that stay an illness and also a way to rest. September 7, 1996 "I Will Win" A minor detail my eyes rolled back in my head now dead in bed a tiny bullet through the head set the record straight so it does not skip my pain, like a heard of wild beasts plowing through the soils of my brain I am huge and insane my whole message must be heard I am sorry sorry for not adding up one hundred plus me equals none but isn't it funny I still won. December 2, 1996 "Here And There" I could have been a king and you my queen but life and its pains came calling my soul dampened my lips firm and death itself keeps calling my blood... a pulse the trigger... a tone but even in death, you are alone just holding your delicate body with my clumsy arms I try... for you I cry to you at night even when you are not there sometimes I am so scared scared of the light as well as the darkness people can see my eyes there I am blind, yet I see here and there. (life) (death) December 29, 1996 "I Am On Empty" My aching head, heart, soul my soul is of a corpse rotting shit filled bones shit is my heart, soul, head, whole entire domination, desperation I will get them all my payback is hell fuck the world bent wide open fuck the company and mine death will consume you, them, I I will return to haunt so many bastards I will get them all. January 4, 1997 "Little Wooden Boy" I am scarred and life has barred this relief from me I do not know what to do with me through all of this I see what others want to make of me I have been carved far, far, and away you just cannot break from the day. June 23, 1997 "Rat Race" When he walked in he saw all that was familiar so approached on things seemed like a habit but it was actually his habitat that scared him everyone saw the bad side they knew... they knew what he was thinking a different attitude came again time to heal at the edge he laughed his grin firm he was a step ahead of the rat race. July 1, 1997 "If You Wish Upon A Star" If you wish upon a star it matters exactly who you are I asked if I would die someday soon and shooting it came, as bright as the moon death after all of this time after I thought I had seen it all all life's filth and grime a feeling I will not regret a feeling I cannot forget over and over again like always my friend you never can win in the end. July 4, 1997 "The Beginning And The End" Just when I thought things could not get any worse my life and soul slowly began to burst Alpha... Omega I began and I will continue these days are darkened these evenings slow I only wish they knew you know? July 10, 1997 "A Desolate Place" I am growing by leaps and bounds I have walked here it seems forever yet I do not know this ground precise ideas about things I would rather live without I am alone in this desolate land. August 3, 1997 "Between You And Me, They Know" One, two, zero this is a lot to say for myself I just don't know I really want to die now I just feel zero I just don't know me alive and me below between you and me they know for almost certain I pull this curtain down where I must go at least you get your wish because payment I could not dish I now die down upon this ground to say I just can't live be bound. August 6, 1997 "My Angel" To you I say my little girl I would die for what I have done is done even differently I could not have won. August 7, 1997. Birth: Jade Teresa Gabriel Meehan August 12, 1997 "I Drop To My Awareness" Everyone knows one another this metropolis of the senses I sense danger not anger one question and unlimited answers there is no reason with this season I season my awareness but whose there all aware of the other ones stare I compare no one is there. August 13, 1997 "Scatterbrain" With these I believe glowing black this disease consumes me perfumed stench cracks in the walls all in all they will never fall onward chattering about nothing scatterbrained no need to waste the pain are you listening to me think. August 23, 1997 "Must You See" This is me as I am free no one here believes I see as you see this disease even in comfort even at sea others do not see what is within me over and over I bleed within me can you now see or must you see what is behind me. August 24, 1997 "A Road To Somewhere" This road.. it is long almost like we have always belonged to each other one another happy with the other feeling content with one another I am scared but I am alive this thrive to survive to do again what was right from within this sin over and over I begin just to win. September 13, 1997 "Amen" Many times I have thought of madness now stress paves my way I cannot even breath my stomach consumes me I am hurting so bad I talk to no one no words could describe this distress if I make it through this I see more darkness these days I am so scatterbrained my heart hurts I long for love, God only knows I do my heart is broken into I feel so lonely inside it is amazing how quick you can drop from the top Amen. October 27, 1997 "I Can Be As Mean As I Want To Be" There is a place in me that I now see where warmth becomes seen through the fog I have thought of the reasons and seen the ending this whole through which I am crawling seems clogged panic comes over me and I hide through consumption I cry I am alone at home they sigh why? why? why? because I am mine I have done what I have done because I can not to show others what they want to see I can be as mean as I want to be to me. October 23, 1997 "Jade" I was created to create yet I am not allowed to relate to other people alienated and alone confused I see these bones decaying becoming what I am from these teachings I have begun I think I am creating my greatest piece of work I created with my art Jade is the color of my heart. January 3, 1998 "Feel Lucky" Back here group's crash and yes you see it is me again the same old in true yet different I have felt emptiness before but the truth truth is, I am alone I feel comfort from companions yet I still feel alone I need someone desperate in words in speaking I am sad like always to just simply hold someone close to cry my words are always the same these journals make up what you could have seen feel lucky you never did. January 20, 1998 "A New Order" A new order is about scream, shout hurl these flames down all around visual shadows fluttering out from behind the walls I am about to breath inhaling stones cutting blood flooding drowned many times I have ran away hiding in holes something like old memories I grasp these familiar echoes overboard overdose a heartbeat of life and then you go. January 24, 1998 "Leary" I see the release and I believe this need I feel but yet smell a new fragrance a new breed of rising climbing out of me I notice small whispers ashes today dust tomorrow swallow this is the life I see this is the breath I breath inhale me. February 3, 1998 "Dead End Drop" I am on a dead end drop and I can see that I am nearing the end of me there are no principles in life that I follow I see I drink I swallow hollow is my head hollow is my brain I rain. February 19, 1998 "Madness" Almost uncontrollable this rage non uninflatable disastrous but largely distress I just may seem a little wrong you just cannot see this help I need I cannot seem to bleed one chord holds me here and I jump I jump everyday what seems to me to be the way I feel mad but deep in the mad I feel sad. February 23, 1998 "Dark Seed" Can you believe what is within me a demon a scorched soul who stole this purity this innocence that once grew around me I could never believe underneath this body was a dark seed. March 15, 1998 "Differently In The Same Way" Even in Sobriety I am still renewed differently in the same way parts of me leave and parts of me stay not just my eyes but also my brain dilates I now try to relate to my other rate of thinking I am drinking a toast that my host has prepared for me differently in the same way. March 23, 1998 "To Feel This Side Of You" What does it take to get to you what is it that I have to do to see what is beneath us me and you I am under you you are under me I now see a feeling of almost nonbelief never have I been able to feel this side of you a puzzle fit I must admit it was beautiful me and you. April 3, 1998 "The Plot Of My Murder" It is really hard these days to be a man to be strong I live in an altered world an altered state of mind I see no crime in what I am doing an experiment in homicide the plot of my murder. April 6, 1998 "I Recreate These Eyes" A pain I never knew I feel so small standing next to you I see you smile and I begin to cry again and again I clear these eyes I see what we had and then I sigh all in all it was goodbye. April 10, 1998 "A Serge" I have so much to say yet there is so little words from the bottom I emerge a surge of black emptiness sweeps my veins walking I see the moon through you and I am blinded yet I still see I could never forget me plus one still equals none. April 30, 1998 "I Am Now" The unbelievable things I see on this night I could never explain I cannot grasp what is really there firm to the foundation I see what life is made of emotions are our backbone our spine I am more me in these beliefs I see right through me just what does pure emotion look like well, I have seen it it is remarkably beautiful I see past the past to the present I am now. May 1, 1998 "This Disease" People are different these days changed in almost miracle ways the sadness in their eyes deep...almost grey I see their need for rest some would even pay just to know the way but I just make them stay here with me I believe there for I see the way things must be this disease. May 16, 1998 "A Desperate Rebirth" These five years I have seen much growth I have seen plains that others never see in a lifetime I have felt like no other could feel yet unlike others, I do not heal I see and I sometimes get scared eventually I will tick no longer and all of me shall rot alone like every other a desperate rebirth and in flames comes another this is the second from none. June 19, 1998 "I Die Every Day" I die every day I cannot seem to find the way back home alone I sigh if I only could just scream or cry from this end I cannot hide with you death I so often seem to ride tonight I leave with you beneath my belt no one to blame but my own self I put the wrongs upon the shelf it felt black I know now that my misery is not only back it never left. June 24, 1998 "How Can I Believe" Look at these eyes look at this face I just must find my place in this world I must say goodbye to this outer space no longer shall I chase these broken dreams this whole world seems wrong to me how could I believe in what I see. July 5, 1998 "Ecstasy" This this is the this is the sensation that I feel I kneel in this wave tracing my legs I will move different influenced hum I'm no bum I am everyday moving this way sliding amongst this haze I graze my mind just one more time to learn the ways to an altered state. July 16, 1998 "Every Once In A While" Everything seems to bend all tend to come from these pictures in my head every day I do my best to obey I always seem to make all of the choices right some way every time I try to rewind I cannot seem to revive these old memories of those days every once in a while I tend to travel that extra mile and see what is ahead everyone in the end is dead. July 27, 1998 "Teach Me To Fly" Dear Jade I feel so afraid that I may never see you again within you my child flows my blood will this flood ever recede I would have never believed that we could be this far away it all seems like just yesterday your heart was next to mine I could never begin to describe this emptiness I feel inside without you my beautiful baby all I seem to do is cry I miss you and I love you all I need to do is hold you and look into your big blue eyes it is all in a matter of time please Jade Gabriel with your wisdom teach me how to fly. July 30, 1998 "The Bottom" Everyone thinks I am crazy I think I am crazy but you are not crazy if you think you are crazy all of this seems so damn hazy I do not know what is real and what I remember all seems to have happened way back one December my sanity so surely dismembered this all will end me inside me this space this unheard of place it sits and it waits until the perfect day I seem so eager to delay I just need one real reason to stay is there even a way to get away. August 2, 1998 "A New Book" We sing we fly we rot we cry we stick our fingers in bubble gum pie we hurt we ride we gather with pride we stick our lives in super glue tides over the clouds we pull our feet the bully, the pest the runt of the fleet life it sucks for all to see a new book for the you and the me. August 7, 1998 "You Just Do Not Know" My child is love when I think of my child it is of love not hate everyone wants to hate the whole world is down on me I want dreams for my daughter and nothing less people will see her little face and will not forget to my last dying breath of life this child is special magic is there laugh, shrug, but this child will be an angel. October 3, 1998 "Behind These Eyes" A little over two decades such a cascade of memories this time of mine ongoing it winds I climb and I climb but just how high does this ladder go Oh, came a voice of question how high can you go? and so I thought and after a moment I realized... I really did not know so I asked the voice how low can you go? swiftly came a reply to hell and I said, oh dear voice even there... I am from below so he looked into my ear and with shock he said I just could not realize that even though I live at the bottom you were from below so at that moment, I gave farewell to the voice and started then again to climb and on an upward glance I knew I had no way of telling how long these hands could go so onward I rise I think people just do not realize what is behind these eyes. December 8, 1998 "These Ways" These days they remain the same these ways I have illustrated demonstrated they remain the same there is no way to get away from these ways... of thinking I see so much in the sunsets that you gaze upon the sun in these eyes that set everyday no longer see in color but in black and grey what do you do when you have lost the way and you see yourself going... down. December 12, 1998 "Broken" There has been only one to grip my heart it seemed certain from the start that something was different about her what we were was true love how did I let her go did I not know what a rare young woman I held at heart a heart I now hold in two parts broken why couldn't life had granted us this one gift yet alone I now drift through a fog of confusion with visions of her. December 16, 1998 "Show The People" No longer am I a starving artist yet I am a dying one through all of this time I thought I had won this energy is gone what a balancing act... what a line I seem to hardly even notice the sun since when was wishing for death such a crime if it were you it would be just fine for your own personal fun so get the fucking gun and show the people that you my boy killed and won. December 19, 1998 "An Impact" The years seem to fly by so few hello's so many goodbye's will I continue to try to hide or will I awaken and learn to fly all I know is I will continue to try I just grow tired I see so much through these eyes have I made an impact on these others’ lives. December 29, 1998 "A Few Words, For Better Or Worse" I am dying along with my art and my heart I am a failure like always everyday... the same day I am sick of playing I am grounded no longer can I fly all I want to do is die over and over again we all seem so good at sin where do we all begin to overcome this end of you and I. January 7, 1999 "Little One" Each in our own world yet together we create one what is out there or shall I say what is in there little one we have not yet begun to understand what we can do with these hands we give life and then take it I do not know if I can make it little one I sometimes feel that life has begun to fail me. January 9, 1999 "A Reminder" Since you've had a bad day I just thought I would say thank you it is the simple things that make a difference a good day... a bad day there seems no resemblance but yet they are alike in one way it seems so easy to feel glad that you still have the things you will miss ...tomorrow sometimes we have to swallow these pains that are very much still alive I do understand that it's not every day that someone can hide that love you two created inside. January 11, 1999 "A Spirit" A spirit of some kind has lost its wings may day, may day is this day the harvest day some type of demon has lost its wings. January 18, 1999 "Looking Through Looking Back" Floating endlessly through space like time velvet galaxies I am alive such a brilliant sight and I thought yeah, I just might let go such great new worlds all untouched I never thought there could be such such places no old faces staring my direction although these sights seem of a long lost reflection I once had seen as a child looking through looking back. January 25, 1999 "Untitled" 1 Of all the jobs others must do it is the hardest to be an artist you do not choose this job you are born with it as well as being born with the worst madness and having to learn to live with it this duty... I mean this job I would not wish this loneliness this lost feeling to any poor soul yet I would kill if it were to be taken from me you see... its different inside you to what is inside of me if only you could look through these eyes you would have to learn all over again just to see I promise you you would not want to see the things within me. May 9, 1999 "Just A Glimpse" What does it take these days to communicate in ways of understanding to be understood with understanding I am only trying to get a glimpse of that beating heart lying over there although I am scared I would display my very own I do not compare but oh how I weep and end by putting myself to sleep I miss those days and those ways of feeling when happiness was real and time seemed to stand still if only it were possible to just hold and feel these memories deep inside me. June 12, 1999 "Within You" Oh baby how crazy you make me so many could easily break me but how quick you piece me back together with strips of leather whether you understand the feelings behind the words I speak these words compare so bleak to the way I feel no one... can steal away my heart because my heart is locked away within you. August 13, 1999 "This Other Half" There comes a day when one must say... I do to love someone and to be loved when bells must ring and friends must sing your first true love your last true love you just could never get enough of those smiles and after all that time and all those miles you again see that smile that you wish would have never went away but on this day my dearest brother you will not only marry this lover but you will learn to defend and to become one with this soul mate this other half your friend. August 31, 1999 "Our Fall" It is not easy knowing what you and I know and it is not easy to live with this dim glow all these years of growing and all these years of hoping for that eternal sigh all these years just to cry it was you and it was I we did our best to learn to fly but here we are grounded our fall had almost sounded like relief now nonexistence without assistance the flesh had a thought but the mind not a sign of resistance the world could not continue to hold from me what the world had left out. September 3, 1999 "Dali" An Enigma looking for the answers to an enigma a stigmata in this world and that perhaps there was just a gap between mishaps and misfortune what seemed like a lifetime became only a portion in this involvement of enthrallment. January 5, 2000 "Time" Remember those times when we seemed real remember those times when we seemed to feel the cold float by I remember times when the leaves were orange and life made me so... so high although orange was never a color in this grey world I remember the rain upon my face and when roads would always seem to lead me some place time was always on our side but on these later days it sits and it hides why? we ask... why? why do we have to go and die well, see my friends time was always yours and time was always mine. January 12, 2000 Song: "BZ" Lyrics: When the smoke had cleared from my face I could see the bodies of my friends all around me black was the skin from the burns and now red was the color of their hair no despair could have prepared me for this I looked down to see their blood upon my hands dripping down from the hands of our own government my mind is just to busy for this BZ its big brother you see that made a corpse out of you and me we as children were taught to fight fairly but no one taught USA on that day to practice what they preach I reach for my weapon and see a whole in me severely hemorrhaging you see, Charlie was not the only enemy yes, you do your best wash those souls away. January 15, 2000 Song: "Militant" Lyrics: At night you seem to lay your head to rest so easily while the rest of me is still shivering I am awake in a living hell and I can't tell just how I will turn out to be you best awake and take that duty personally I will haunt you in your dreams Mr. Politician I will be your next prescription I will cure those acts you make and I'll take, ill break those poor little heads I am homed in on you yes, it's true one day I'll make mincemeat out of you there is not a cure but this vaccination is headed in your direction to look at the two this disease and you a reflection made in heaven Mr. Politician my wonderful and ignorant prey I pray every day that we'll carry your bones away. January 24, 2000 Song: "Propagate" Lyrics: This memory of this laboratory research breach birth lobotomy life you see is free to me we look for a meaning a new breed a seed a new deed for this shivering this new beginning two of me can now be seen we cannot copy this will be the being the beginning of the end. January 29, 2000 Song: "Temper" Lyrics: The black... and the dead my wings... are spread expect resurrection a bone collection a son this one was fun Hitler... temper over the edge dialect regret refugee...assembly neglect made perfection manifestation but possibly manipulation. Copyright. Owned by Wesley Paul Young. 2024.

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Deciduous Flux. Discography. (These are recording sessions=albums)

SIS 201. The Splendor Of Chaos. Feb~Mar 2011.+*
SIS 202. At Enormous Depths. Apr 2011.+*
SIS 203. When Death Comes Ripping. Apr 2011.+*
SIS 204. Timeserver. May 2011.+*
SIS 205. A Surviving Trace. May 2011.+*
SIS 206. Dreams Of The Pistol Whipped. Jul 2011.+*>
SIS 207. The Stresses Of Atmospheres. Sep~Oct 2011.+*
SIS 208. The Planet Of The Crossing. Dec 2011~Jan 2012.+*>
SIS 209. Deciduous Flux (Self Titled). CD 1. (Raw Recordings). Jan 2012.+*
SIS 210. Deciduous Flux (Self Titled). CD 2. (Early Version). Apr 2012.+*-
SIS 211. Deciduous Flux (Self Titled). CD 3 (Final Versions). May 2012.+*-
SIS 212. Creature Of Habit. May 2012.+*>
SIS 213. Mysteries Of The Dark Woods. Jun 2012.+*
SIS 214. Seperated At Some Distance. Jun 2012.+*
SIS 215. Plenum. Jun 2012.+*
SIS 216. Pastiche Lustral. Jun 2012. Oct 2012. +*
SIS 217. Psychonautics. Apr~May 2013. +*
SIS 218. Bonds Of Time. Jun 2013. +*/
SIS 219. Adamah. May 2014. +*@. 5-8. July 2014. +*”
SIS 220. Ubiety. Jul~Aug. 2014. +*
SIS 221. Jupiter. Early Mix. Aug 2014. +*
SIS 222. Jupiter. Alternate Mix. Sept~Oct 2014. +*
SIS 223. Jupiter. Final Mix. Sep~Oct 2014. +*
SIS 224. World Beneath The Ice (Themes I). Jan~Feb 2015. +*
SIS 225. World Beneath The Ice (Themes II). Feb 2015. +*
SIS 226. Movement Among The Mist. Apr 2015. +*    
SIS 227. The Night Of No Tomorrow. May. 2015. +*
SIS 228. Grand Dark Feeling. June 2015. +*
SIS 229. The Golden Bough. June 2015. +*
SIS 230. Mirror Of The Moon. July 2017. +*
SIS 231. Film Of The Book. Aug 2017. +*
SIS 232. Thy Will. Sep~Oct 2017. +*
SIS 233. A Particular End. Nov 2017. +*
SIS 234. Escatawpa. Apr 2018. +*
SIS 235. Sagittarius A-Star. Apr 2018. +*
SIS 236. Anesidora. May 2018. +*



Releases.
SIS 01. Deciduous Flux. Year 1 Comp. CD. 2012. US. #ed Lmt to 50.+*
SIS 06. Deciduous Flux. (Self Titled). CD. 12-12-2012. US. Lmt to 500.+*
Un Festin Sagital. Deimos. 10-24-2013. Cassette. BH-72. US. Lmt to 100.
SIS 07. Icedagaz. 2008 ~ 2012. Comp. CD. 2014. US. #ed Lmt to 50. *
SIS 223a. Jupiter. CD. 10-31-2015. US. #ed Lmt to 22. +*


Appearance On Compilation Appearances.
23 Seconds Ov Time Volume 7: Within Thee Cross Ov Chaos. 6-2013. 23SOTV7. UK. MP3 Download.+*


Deciduous Flux.
Wesleyoung. +
Jesse Peper. *
Appearing
John Peper. @
Tina Peper. >
Shelley Peper. “
Edward Ka-Spel.-
Spencer./
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Behavior. Discography.

SIS 101. Fallout. 12 1999~1 2000. +#
SIS 102. Southern Inception. 6 2000. +=
SIS 103. Garmonbozia (S. Inception Remix’s). 7~8 2001. +=
SIS 104. Spontaneous Combustion: A. 9 2002. +=
SIS 105. Spontaneous Combustion: B. 9 2002. +=
SIS 106. Time. . . 10 2002. +=
SIS 107. . . .And Time Again. 11 2002. +=
SIS 108. Shock Corridor: Early Versions. 12 02~1 03. +#
SIS 109. Shock Corridor. 1~2 2003. +#
SIS 110. Counter Clockwise. 6 2003. +#~=
SIS 111. Spirited Away. 5~7 2003. +
SIS 112. Giration. 12 2003. +
SIS 113. An Unlikely Event. 3 2004. +#
SIS 114. Contractions. 9 2007. +~<
SIS 115. Confinement. 2 2008. +#~
SIS 116. Womb Sieve I. 6~8 2008. +~
SIS 117. Womb Sieve II. 8 2008. +~
SIS 118. Soundtrack For The Blind (Alone At Sea). 9 2008. +~
SIS 119. Hertz. 10~11 2008. +~
SIS 120. A Toast To Madness. 11 2008. + ~
SIS 121. Mobius Transformation. 4 2011. +`%
SIS 122. Arming My Heart Keeper. 6~8 2011. +
SIS 123. Time Stranger. 8~10 2011. +%
SIS 124. From The Edge (Remix’s). 10 2011. +
SIS 125. Natural Selection. 10 2011. +~
SIS 126. Etymology. 8~9 2012. +#*
SIS 127. Trail Of Tears. 11 2016. +
SIS 128. Tally. 4 2018. +~


Releases.
SIS 02. Wesleyoung. 2002~2012. Comp. CD. 2012. US. #ed lmt to 50.+
SIS 03. Behavior. 2003~2011. Comp 3 of 3. CD. WY+JA Sessions. 2012. US. #ed lmt to 50.+~
SIS 04. Behavior. 2000~2003. Comp 2 of 3. CD. WY+CR Sessions. 2012. US. #ed lmt to 50.+=#~
SIS 05. Behavior. 1999~2008. Comp 1 of 3. CD. WY+CM Sessions. 2012. US. #ed lmt to 50.+#~


Appears On Compilation Releases:
Of Spectre’s & Saints II. 2 Cd (Compilation). 9-2010. Elseproduct29. US. Digi. Lmt to 77.+~
Muslimgauze: From The Edge. Deluxe Edition. 2 Cd (Compilation). 11-2011. TMPS 10. CA. Lmt to 500.+
23 Seconds Ov Time Volume 7: Within Thee Cross Ov Chaos. (Compilation). 6-2013. 23SOTV7. UK. MP3 Download.+


Behavior. (As appears on each recording)
Wesleyoung. +
Caleb McCall. #
Jonathan Agent. ~
Christopher Rowell. =
Appearing
Grant Hiers. <
Jesse Peper.*
Justin Headrick. `
Charlie Martineau. %
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Tarot Deck 1 (Major Arcana).

           I have completed Tarot Deck 1. It consists of 23 cards. The first 22 being the major arcana. The 23rd card being a signed and numbered info card. There is also a business card and sticker included, all kept in a custom stamped cloth bag. This release is limited to 30 decks. I was extremely excited to make this happen. The deck can be purchased at the link below. As always, I am thankful for everyones support! Cheers! WY


WY Trump Deck:    behavior.bandcamp.com/merch/ta…


NOTE!!! These are now sold out!!!
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Featured

Deciduous Flux. Discography by WesleyYoung, journal

Behavior. Discography by WesleyYoung, journal

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Things at times seem to get lost. A List of Links. by WesleyYoung, journal